Author: JF.com

Today we got on our feet for the first time and blocked the first scenes. I am pretty tired from last night. Won’t be doing any parties again while we’re rehearsing but having a dinner for Danny Boyle was irresistible. Still, I was zombie-like in rehearsal today. But getting up from the table gives me a better idea of what the scenes feel like and what Moises wants After lunch we practiced singing the Kyrie Eleison chorus from Beethoven’s Mass in C. Beethoven was writing the Mass in between working on the 33 Variations. It is so powerful, so moving. When Moises played us a CD of the Mass’s chorale I wept. To think he was deaf and very ill when he wrote this!  I was relieved to discover that I am not out there all on my own singing it. All the other actors sing–in a beautiful harmony (Don and Erik have really beautiful voices!) And when we are all together it is powerful and very moving–especially in the context of the play. Don told me it comes as a complete surprise in the play…the only time there is singing, and that the audience is usually moved by it. So–Danny Boyle. He is everything Troy and Simone told me he was: 100 percent present for every person who came up to him. A real mensch. As I co-hosted the dinner, I sat next to him and got to ask a lot of questions. He, his screenwriter and composer all won Golden Globe Awards the night before and Danny was especially moved for the composer, A.R. Rahman, who, he told me, is a huge star in India. Huge. The Golden Globes Awards were shown on Indian TV at breakfast time so all of India, including children, were watching and, apparently, when he won, there was cheering and celebration and on its front page news. Danny was sensitive to the importance of this event which has served to lift the spirits and pride of a country so recently rocked by terrorists in the city of Mumbai where “Slumdog millionaire” was filmed. Danny Boyle Photo courtesy of PatrickMcMullan.com Danny Boyle Photo courtesy of PatrickMcMullan.com Simon Beaufoy Photo courtesy of PatrickMcMullan.com Lesley Stahl Photo courtesy of PatrickMcMullan.com Blythe Danner, Eden Collinsworth Photo courtesy of PatrickMcMullan.com Danny described being smitten by Mumbai–its energy, its people. He feels it is similar energetically to New York (which he also loves). The people in the slums where he shot asked him not to make them look poor. I’ve been in that massive, sprawling, horrific slum. I’ve seen the poverty, so I understand why Danny was so moved by this desire on the peoples’ part. Danny made a point of saying that it is poverty, yes, but not ‘abject’ poverty in the sense that people remain resilient, friendly, proud. He acknowledged, however, that for women it is especially hard–so much gender violence. (Six years ago I went there with Eve Ensler and Marisa Tomei to perform the “Vagina Monologues” as a fundraiser for a women’s shelter in the center of the slums. We went there, talked with some of the women and met with the staff. I will never forget the women whose legs had been broken, who had been stabbed and beaten by husbands, male relatives or boyfriends. Some of them were very young. It is difficult for people from the western, developed world who have never been in the global South, countries like India and Africa, to comprehend the extent to which women have no rights, no protection, to social standing and how often they are treated like chattel, to be brutalized, denied education, even the right to go outside alone and uncovered. Danny Boyle told me that he had created a scholarship for the three young actors (2 boys and a girl) to permit them to go to school. Two of them had never had any education. As an incentive to their families to keep them in school, the scholarships have been set up so that when they graduate they will each receive a considerable amount of money. I am not surprised that Danny, in the midst of all the attention and accolades that he and the film are receiving, has not forgotten the youngsters. While I’m writing this, the wigmaker, Martial Corneville, is making a plaster mold of my head that he will then use as the base for the wig.  See you next time.

Today I had a breakthrough, one of those actor’s miracles that descends unexpectedly. There is a moment in a scene towards the end of the play that I have been unable to understand. I am supppsed to get very emotional and then speak lines that I couldn’t wrap myself around. They shut me down. I told Moises my problems with the emotional results he seemed to be going for. As we talked, I took the time to really experience what the other actor says to me and didn’t try to get to the emotion or to the words I’m supposed to say in response–but just took the moment in silence, I was filled with the reality, the enormity of what I am being asked to do by the other character (it happens to be Beethoven who comes to me in a morphine-induced hallucination) and the scene broke open for me. What an exciting feeling. The other actors had been witnessing the whole discussion and process and they were as excited and moved as I was. There simply isn’t anything quite like these breakthrough moments and the loving, supportive community of actors that nurtures and makes the experience possible. Moises, in his openess and generosity creates the fertile ground for such breakthroughs. I feel blessed. I just left rehearsal and am at the Roy Teeluck Salon having Dora blow me out cause in an hour I am co-hosting a dinner celebrating Danny Boyle who has just won all those Golden Globes for the amazing “Slumdog Millionaire.” I can’t wait to meet him. Troy (Garity) my son, did “Sunshine,” a science fiction/cosmic thriller with Danny–his last film before “Slumdog” and Troy told me so many great and inspiring stories about him, how he works and how he treats people that I want to know him and say thank you–for his movies and for treating my son so lovingly. Troy is making a movie in Russia right now (directed by Mario Van Peebles) so I feel like I’m representing him, too, at this dinner. Whew! What a day. See you next time.

This is the first day of rehearsal. The first gathering of the people who will be my family for the next five months. For the next 3 weeks we’ll rehearse in a funky theatre in the East Village. Erik Steele There is Zach Grenier who is playing Beethoven (photo); Erik Steele who is Anton Schindler , Beethoven’s Assistant; Don Amandolia, who plays the great music publisher Anton Diabelli; Don Amendolia Susan Kellerman, who plays Gertie who cares for the Beethoven archive in Bonn, Germany; Samantha Mathis Samantha Mathis who is my daughter Clara with whom I have a complex and trying relationship; Colin Hanks who plays Mike, the nurse, who falls in love with her; Susan Kellerman Colin Hanks and then the wonderful classical pianist Diane Walsh, whose music will be interwoven throughout the play. Diane Walsh Moises and his partner Jeff Lahoste We all sat at tables that have been arranged in a circle, and standing around us is an even larger circle of what seemed to be about fifty people. Who are all these people, Samantha and I wonder? After an enthusiastic welcome, David Binder, our producer, asks everyone to introduce themselves. It turns out they are the other producers (so many that I don’t see how any of them will make any money!): the set designer, the costume designer, the publicists, the sound designer, lighting designers, Heidi Neven, the Company Manager, Linda Marvel, the marvelous Stage Manager, all the tech crew. An impressive army of friendly people who will be surrounding us during the production. After that, everyone left except the cast so that Kimberly Rimbold, the Actors Equity representative, could meet with us about our union Actually, Actors Equity is not a union, it’s an association within the AFL/CIO which means we can’t strike without their permission. She talked about Equity regulations, medical benefits, how many hours we can be made to work before we’re required to have a break (VERY happy about those regs!) She told us of the research that is being done by Actors Equity to determine why there are so many accidents on stage (mostly musicals) and what can be done to protect them. I don’t remember ever having this kind of meeting in Hollywood. Maybe a SAG rep comes to the set but no ones knows who it is. I liked the meeting. It reminded me that we are part of a craft; crafts people. It enhanced the sense of community, a tighter community of actors than seems to exist in Hollywood. Maybe it’s because we rehearse for weeks which is a rarity in Hollywood. Maybe it’s because we all live much closer to each other in this compact city. Actually New York is more of a community than the wildly sprawling Los Angeles. Yes, there is intimacy on the set while shooting a movie, but everyone is rarely all together as a group. Often you never even meet all the cast until the wrap party (the celebration of the end of shooting). The dramaturge Mark Bly talking to Susan. Zach Grenier who plays beethoven is next and next to him is Erik Steele who plays Anton Schindler, Beethoven’s secretary It’s clear from the get go that Linda Marvel, our Stage Manager, is very good about calling breaks and making sure we don’t run overtime. As Moises said, her name suits her, she is a marvel. During a break she tells me that earlier in the year she attended the Women’s Forum in Deauville, France, and she’s going to send me the link to it. I remember reading about this in the New York Times and thinking that I’d like to be part of this in the future. A model of our set. It is spectacular. The set designer, Derek McLane, showed all of us the impressive model of the set. I keep my concerns about how the brightness of lighting will make us all look. There seems to be a lot of overhead lighting. Uh-oh, it’s fine for Samantha, but I’m 71. Have to think about this. Still, the set is actually a character; it moves, it turns, it twists, it dances. Then we began our first full reading of the play from beginning to end. Four of the actors, Erik, Don, Zach and Gertie have done this before…in La Jolla and DC. They are old timers. Colin, Samantha and I are the newcomers. It’s exciting to hear all these voices for the first time. And surprising to realize the extent to which my character, Dr. Katherine Brandt, conjures up the past so that it is constantly interwoven with the present. I realized during this reading, how much humor there is. The end of the first day, I’m wiped- and so happy and so excited and so grateful to Moises for bringing me into this process. I think this is something that will be a real part of the second scene of my third act. I feel sure I’ll want to do more theatre. There is a reason this came up at this point in my life, interrupting my writing of my book on aging, yes, but perhaps it will inform it in some new way. In fact, I’m sure it will. See you next time.

We’ll open for previews a month from today. This afternoon I went to the Eugene O’Neill Theater to choose a dressing room and make friends with the space. The moment I walked in, I knew we’d be alright together, me and the theatre. It felt intimate, cozy, welcoming. I stood on the stage (still dressed for the soon-to-close “Spring Awakening” which I loved and saw twice) and as I looked out over the seats and up into the balcony I knew it was a space I could own. I love my dressing room, too. It’s stage right and on the same level as the stage. I’m glad I won’t have to walk up and down stairs to get to stage level. Besides the dressing room itself, there’s a little sitting area where I can have a couch and a couple of chairs in case I want to lie down before or talk to visiting friends afterwards. It’s all becoming very real. I am not scared but I feel in limbo…neither one place or another, as though I am waiting for something but I don’t know what it is and this fills me with anxiety. I am aware of myself going through all the proper motions on a day-to-day basis: I’m polite, I show up at the vet with Tulea on time (She had to have her teeth cleaned), at do my Pilates workouts on time, I enjoyed being with my friends Pat Mitchell and Jennifer Buffett for dinner last night, but I’m not fully there…more like existing along side myself, watching myself, judging myself for not being in the moment, not quite with it as I am on most occasions. I choose to believe this is all as a result of my gearing up to be someone else. If I do this, then my discomfort becomes a positive rather than a negative. Still, it’s an uncomfortable and disconcerting feeling. (It has crossed my mind that writing a blog may contribute to this feeling of not being fully present because it entails living while observing/commenting on the living.) I’m noticing that the anxiety goes away only when I run lines with my new, part time assistant, Rachel. She is impressed that I already know all my lines. Learning lines has always been very easy for me. Inhabiting them appropriately is another matter. But I am growing very fond of this woman, Dr Katherine Brant, the one I am starting to inhabit. Tonight at 6:30, Moises is coming over with the costume designer, David Woolard, to discuss concepts. I have a pretty clear idea of how Katherine should dress. I hope we’re all in sync. See you next time