I vacuumed the rugs, put ice cubes in my orchids, polished some silver picture frames and shot another video for TikTok. Feel very hip and competent. Tomorrow is another day. I intend to have a Zoom cocktail hour with quarantinis and my Fire Drill Friday team tonight. We did this once before and good ideas came out of it. Tomorrow is another day. Nothing to do early so if I have a hangover it’s ok. Yesterday did facetime with my son and daughter-in-law and my grandson. Brilliant. Strong. Happy. They did good. Tomorrow’s Easter. Easter was always a big deal for my family. I had a full-on bunny suit, would put white makeup on and glue broom straws on for whiskers. We’d have awesome Easter Egg hunts and when I was married to Tom, we’d have an overnight party at our children’s camp north of Los Angeles with 100 or so of our friends who had kids. Hayrides, magic shows, square dancing. I will refuse to feel sorry for myself tomorrow. Though, being alone, no eggs, no kids, no square dancing sucks. I’d do it by myself but I’m too lazy and might have a wee hangover.
I asked my niece, Bridget, if she was going to have an Easter Egg hunt tomorrow and she just sent me a video of her chickens and goats. That’s the extent she says of her egg hunting. Besides, her son is too old for that. Are we supposed to get too old for that? I wish I could send you photos of me as the Easter Mummy but they are in albums in Atlanta and…well, that’s not happening.
I hope you are all staying safe, keeping your distance, sheltering-in-place– in the U.S., at least. I think I’ll take a long walk since it’s a sunny day. Who of you are shelter-in-place? Are you all well? Happy Easter. 😷🐰
Eva Liebhaber
Jane! So good to know you are doing well, I’ve been following your Fire Drill Fridays religiously, thanks so much for your enormous effort! I’m very much looking forward to your talk with Christiana Figueres, I was wondering when you two would finally concur. Her book is super optimistic and gives hope for the future of the planet, if we get enough people to act.
I usually live in New Orleans, but our Symphony Orchestra (Louisiana Phil) had to cancel the rest of the season because of the coronavirus, so I decided to pack my apartment, put it in storage and head to my home country of Costa Rica. I just finished my two week quarantine yesterday, so I could finally hug my mother and share a meal together at the table. It’s been quite the ride, but I have to say I’m hopeful to see what this “Grand Pause” brings us, in a positive way (despite all the suffering and death the world is dealing at the moment). Definitely a time to look inside and also realize what’s wrong with our society and how things have been operating so far. So many things to fix, and now we are getting the chance to look in the mirror and ask ourselves if the consumer wheel is worth spending our lives spinning.
I’m grateful for you and all the activists out there bringing awareness and acting on behalf of many others and out planet. Recently joined 350 New Orleans, we were planning a bunch of actions for Earth Day, but like everything else we’ll be moving things online. It’s a wild time to be alive.
Thank you eternally for your inspiration and fierce leadership!
Much love to you,
Eva
Lauryn
Hey Jane,
Easter just doesn’t feel the same alone but I know we’ll all be able to see our families once this is over so I’m trying to keep a positive outlook. I’m sheltering in place here in South Carolina. I’m a homebody anyway but it still feels so weird. I’ve been trying to stay creative throughout this. I loved watching the table read the other night and I just watched your documentary tonight. You are truly captivating.
I hope your hangover isn’t too bad tomorrow and I hope you have a great day.
-Lauryn
Stacey
Jane,
Happy Easter! I always ask my mom where my Easter basket is. She always tells me I’m too old for one. I don’t know, I mean I love chocolate and I’m 40? Put cleaning supplies in it I’d be happy. I am still working I’m just a housekeeper at an assisted living facility. I live alone in an apt so I don’t endanger anyone at home. I can’t imagine the other essential workers that risk not only their lives but their families to. I will also be hungover tomorrow I made bloody Mary’s for the first time and might have added a little more vodka than usual lol. I will probably feel that in the morning. Hope all is well.
Love always,
Stacey
Jordan
Hey Jane, enjoyed the Grace and Frankie table read live-stream the other night! Looking for ward to the next season. Have been hunkering down here in Saskatchewan for a while now, not too many cases and hopefully getting better but time will tell. Glad to have your blog posts to read during this time. Jordan
Alyssa
Hi Jane,
Ive been feeling pretty bereft this Easter season too.
This is the first time I’ve ever spent Easter away from my family. Tomorrow, as you said, will be just another day. Another day in quarantine. I won’t even have enough food to fix anything special; and to be honest, I’ll probably have a hangover tomorrow too- so hopefully I’ll just sleep the day away.
This really sucks.
Good to know I’m not alone.
Stay safe, stay sane, stay alive.
-Alyssa
Smitty Dove
What a wonderfully positive blog entry. Nice to read in a time where everything online is scary, or angry, or just overall bad for our mental health. Even though Easter is going to be very different this year for us all, I hope everyone can come up with a new tradition this weekend. Revel in the fact that change can be exciting and magical things can spark from it. And keep the fact that this is only temporary close to your heart.
Jane, you should consider following Susan Sullivan on Twitter if you’re looking for something to help you feed into staying positive. Every post of hers is filled with hope, happiness and love…and sometimes humour. You might even know her as she’s on the board of LATW as an Artist Advisory Council member and I believe you have performed with them in the past. Anyway, it’s just a suggestion for one more way to expose yourself to positive vibes…which I think we all need right now. Do you currently follow (and suggest) anyone on twitter that does the same? Where their posts always bring you a smile, comforting thought or sigh of contentment?
Love from Newfoundland 🇨🇦
*Stay in, stay positive, stay safe*
– Lesley
Ana Fernandes
I’ve been quarantined for almost 6 weeks now, really trying to keep the routine. Been resting a lot, studying for finals (which is so much harder and not so fun without friends), working out (😉), watching a good bunch of movies and documentaries, taking long walks by the river and the hill (it has been soooo sunny, makes it a lot easier to get through the day) and trying to improve my cooking skills.
In Portugal, it’s already Easter’s day and it’s so weird, not a single soul on the street (and thank God), no bells ringing or rocketry, just a regular quarantine day. Usually, we gather the whole family, have lunch together and walk house by house during the whole afternoon, to receive the compass (I don´t know if that´s a thing in the US). It´s such a fun day, we have the oportunity to see people we don’t get to see that often, to catch up, play games, have a really good time. It’s sad that we don’t get to do that today but if we think about it, we’re actually united, only by another purpose. This year we don’t have the eggs but baked the folar anyway, something I’m really looking foward to😅,
Hope everyone is safe and has a happy Easter 🐰💜!!
PS: why the ice cubes on the orchids? Do you do that instead of watering them? We have plenty of them in the garden, really got me curious ahah
Isabel Santos
Hi Jane!
Glad to know you are well, strong and resolute as always.
I have seen a photo of you dressed in a bunny suit. I have seen that but i can’t remember where.. You were too funny, i can say that! 😅
I am in Portugal, and we are doing not so bad. At least not as bad as our neighbours in Spain and friends in Italy or the UK. We are a very compliant and well educared people, the portuguese.
I wish you all the good stuff Jane: health, tranquility, peace, a nice couple of drinks and cheers to you. Cheers to all of us. May we all come out of this stronger and with some lessons learned.
Love. Stay safe.
Isabel xxx
kate
happy easter, jane!
i hope you have a great day regardless. do you have company with you, aside from family? i hope you do. my neighbour is 95-years-old, alone and we’re making it a daily thing to talk across the fence, where our gardens join. i don’t think you can be too old to enjoy the childish aspects of easter, it’s tradition, although this is our first easter in nine years without a scavenger hunt because our families are separated.
i’m just extremely grateful to be spending it with my parents, and that we’re safe.
i adore the name of your grandson, congratulations again. i saw on troy’s instagram he is keeping himself busy by helping out. throughout this whole situation my heart has warmed by the amazing support of the community. even receiving a simple nod or smile from across the street, it’s comforting.
and thanks for the comment about the ice cubes and the orchids, i had no idea, no wonder mine keep dying. i’ll pass this onto my mother and sister too.
much love, as always.
kate
p.s. the stream was amazing, you had 15k people watching and it really made everyone so happy to see you all ‘together’.
Jane
It was me and Tulea sharing Easter. I wasn’t sad. xx
kate
aww, i’m so happy to hear. i adopted a spaniel, louie, before this happened and what good timing. i bet tulea is enjoying this time with you.
Nicoleta Cramaruc
Jane, hi! <3
Reading your post I've noticed a sentence you're repeating: "Tomorrow is another day", and made me think again how blessed we are to have another day, and another day in our life. This sentence could become like a mantra in our life,determining us to keep moving and never give up as you often say. Thank you for reminding me again and again!
I can only imagine how hard can be for you to be apart from your family in a time like this, but you're not alone. The hardest thing it's not being able to hug the loved ones, isn't it?! At least this is in my case. But still we are not alone. We just have to reach to our inner self to be able to overcome this physical loneliness. It's a test, a hard one indeed, but we will pass it, right?!
I'm staying at home most of the time, but I'm also going out as a volunteer to help those elders in need. I'm OK and I really hope that everything will end soon.Stay safe!!!
sending my love to you,
XXX
Alexandra
Hi Jane!
Happy Easter to you and your family! I was able to leave New York two weeks ago and I’ve been staying with my dad in Ohio. I’m grateful to be able to spend this time with him; we’re going to watch old home movies today. I’ve been sorting through boxes of stuff from my past lives which has been therapeutic and I just finished John Lewis’s memoir “Walking with the Wind,” which is incredibly moving and hopeful.
I really enjoyed last Friday’s talk with Nancy MacLean and I’ve added her book to my reading list. Since my cross-country road trip seems less and less likely, I’ll be staying in Ohio for the foreseeable future. Robin and I have talked about starting an Ohio chapter of Fire Drill Fridays and we look forward to further guidance/ideas from your team.
Stay safe!
xoxo
Alexandra
Jane
Guidance coming shortly, Alexandra. We’ve hired some terrific organizers from Bernie’s campaign. Doing the “distributed organizing” takes a special skill set. Stay tuned. xxoo
Robin G
Happy Easter, Jane. We are quarantined in my house, as my husband just emerged from an 11-day quarantine in our bedroom recovering from covid. Despite his isolation, my daughter and I will be tested tomorrow. A terrifying time, especially when the thing that everyone is sheltering from is in your own home. I’m thankful that my husband is recovered and was only really affected by a cough and fatigue, with no more severe symptoms. I hope my daughters and I fare as well. Prayers appreciated! We’re all glad to have my husband back with us in the flesh, though we zoomed him while he quarantined, and even had a Passover Seder together! We’re lucky to have wonderful friends who have come to our aid with homemade masks and goodies, groceries, booze, and even all the fixings for our Passover dinner! Also thankful that my girls are here with us, the my son, the pharmacist, is able to shop for us during this time, and for our 15-year-old dog Twinkie, who looks like an Ewok! You’ve been my role model my whole life, and I’m always happy to follow you, and pleased that both of my daughters love Grace and Frankie as much as I do! It’s the best medicine in these trying times. Love to you and Tulea! Stay safe and healthy!
Jane
Let us know how the tests tun out, Robin. I’m sending up prayers. xx JF
Robin G
Jane, Emily and I are so touched by your prayers and your caring. Sadly, we have covid and now pneumonia. My mother was hospitalized with covid, which she got at her assisted living, but is thankfully doing better. It’s horrifying how this disease has bludgeoned our family. Your prayers and activism and your example my whole life mean so much to us. I wish I could post a picture of me in my “birthday suit,”😂 a new Jane Fonda sweatsuit that is good medicine for convalescing. Emily sent it to you on Twitter. Take a look! ❤️ We love you, Jane, and appreciate your prayers!
Jane
Gosh, Robin, I hope you heal quickly. Take care. I’m so sorry. x Jane
Jen N
Happy Easter! It’s hard not to feel a bit blue when traditions seem non-existent this year, missing family and friends. In the end, I think we will all be grateful and reflect on this time as a wake-up call for the world. I’m a teacher, so we started distance learning weeks ago and have continued to shelter in place. I’ve taken the time to write some letters to my friends and family, snail mail style; everyone loves getting mail that isn’t bills and it’s great record of this time! (I even dropped one in the mail for you a few weeks ago!) Enjoy this time with Tulea; my dog is almost 18 and loves the extra attention!
Stay well- the world needs you!
Tripp Mahan
Happy Easter Jane! Adopted a 7 month old female Coton on Tuesday so hopping around the yard here in West Hollywood with her. Hope you and Tulea are having fun. We walk the length of Beverly Hills from Doheny to the Waldorf if you ever want to join! XOXO
Graciela
Hello dear Jane! Happy Easter! It is hard not to be able to hug my children. strangely enough not to have them close to quarantine. We are all taking care of ourselves. I live alone in a small apartment but a door separates me from my 88-year-old mother, my sister who suffers from diabetes and is celiac and my 8-year-old niece who is the sunbeam of the house! My quarantine is shared with them. We are all in “risky age” as they say around here but sometimes we have to go to the supermarket and take the necessary precautions. We all used to meet at my house, my children, their partners, the father of my children (my “ex”, but a great friend). We were looking for the easter eggs and the bunnies …. I went to Mass because I played the guitar in the choir … I already stopped that practice. My temple is my own home. The priest told me that I had my “domestic church”! hahahaha😁 I didn’t lose my faith and that’s the important thing.🙏
I admire your willingness to do everything you do. Your delivery is powerful. You illuminate with your own light the place where you go. I keep a close eye on Fire Drill Fridays. I’m from Uruguay. I understand English but I am using a translator to write. I apologize if there are errors. I love your job at Grace and Frankie. They have made me laugh, cry, get angry, and surprise me. My health problems are Grace’s ….. (but overweight !!!) My spirit is a bit Frankie but I am too “objective” like Grace. They are my great company. I pray for your health and Lily’s.
TAKE CARE, JANE !!! Stay safe. Many people love you and need you. I am one of those people. I would love to give you a big hug but it will be virtual because I doubt I can travel to give it to you when all this happens. So, go my hug and kiss full of love for you and send another to Lily !!!! I love them. Take care !!! THANKS FOR BEING!!!
Graciela (Grace, as my friends tell me here) 🤗🤗 😍😍❤️❤️🙏😷😞
Jane
xxxxoooo
Heather
Today is Easter – such a sad day, but one where I sit and reminisce about past Easters with the family. My mom wore her bunny suit last year – four of us kids – all grown and some with kids of our own, well…except me…the rebel. The adults in the family would participate in egg hunt just the same – we are ageless. It’s always been that way and when my grandparents were alive – they joined in on the Easter shenanigans. It’s thunder- storming here – the bright flashes of lightening and thunder growls are endless, adding to an already sad day. Then, I think to myself – this is the day the stone was rolled away and the tomb was empty, so no more sadness – He is Risen. Still. life as we knew it i fear will be forever changed and this, dear Jane, is just the beginning….
Jennifer
Happy Easter, Jane! Stay safe!
Becky O.
Hi, Jane!
Cheers to low key Easter! I went all out, bought two bags of Easter chocolates, dumped them in a bowl and proclaimed them “centerpiece”. I’m getting caught up on Grace & Frankie. Really enjoying your work there. Took a fab bike ride in the mountains (masked and riding solo) this week in Vail. Grateful for a little fresh air and exercise. We are shelter-in-place, a little too much togetherness, but are OK. Keep up the good fight. Happy Easter! Thanks for all you do!
Becky O.
Katia
I’m new on your blog so I’m just discovering it…
Thank you for what you do, really… you are such an inspiring woman but you must have heard it so many times…
Love Grace and Frankie too ! Keep safe and take care of yourself.
🌼🌼🌼 from France
Ursulla MICHEL
Un tendre bisou plein d’admiration from France to wish you happy easter too 💞
Thank you so much for being not only the most beautiful woman but also so inspiring, engaged, building up, authentic and daring. You are my ideal of a woman 😍 Your words and shared experiences (your books, too) opened up perspectives and helped me make decisions…
sweet thoughts fly to you to accompany you during this lockdown
🥰
kate
jane,
i keep forgetting to ask you, have you ever considered writing a second autobiography? it’s been fifteen years this year and i feel that decade and a half has been immensely groundbreaking in your career and your life. i‘m dying to know, as are lot of people. i understand your focus is on current issues.
much love, as always.
kate
Jane
Yep, I’ve considered writing another book and started to make notes and then I moved to DC and started Fire Drill Fridays and have written a book about that experience: “What Can I Do? My Path From Climate Despair To Action.” Penguin Books is bringing it out September 8th. I love this book so much.
kate
i know, i have been following your blogs about it, i’m going to pre-order it. i’m excited to read, and ultimately be educated because i’m at a loss, to be honest; i listen and do what i can.
in regards to my comment above i realised you did the first book because you had to “go back to go forward” and that was the journey the book went on— but if you ever have the urge to share some personal experiences, especially on things like finally finding true intimacy with your last relationship, a book would be incredible. but i understand where your heart is right now xoxo
Jane
Frankly, Kate, I wonder if some of us have had the sort of wounds that make “true intimacy” not entirely possible. IS that why I am so happy now that I am alone? I am saddened that this may be true and yet, I feel I have done my best and found a way forward despite the relational wounds. I don’t regret any of the relationships I’ve had in my attempts to find true intimacy. I learned a lot through them. But I often think the fact that I managed to choose partners who had addictions of one sort or another (without ever realizing I was doing that) was because I sensed,deep down, that those partners weren;t capable of ‘true intimacy’ either so I didn’t have to worry that they’d ask me to realy show up..
Nicoleta Cramaruc
Well, Jane, you made the right connections and you were honest with yourself in the process of accepting them. These kind of insights are precious for one’s inner peace and equilibrium. No one is showing up by chance in our lives, and we choose someone because of some deeper reasons. Hats of to you for being so honest with yourself in the end and for letting your main fear in all your relationships be seen and known: the one of being asked to show up … to be you, the real you. I love you for your wisdom as well! XXX
kate
jane, thanks for opening up like that. i quoted that from an interview you did about eight years ago. can i ask whether you felt this happy alone when you were younger? because this is me now. i’m so happy with my own company, therefore i find it extremely hard to find romantic intimacy. a lot of people have it so easy, they find someone and feel that safeness straight away. i definitely do not. i naturally lean towards men who give me no self-confidence (mirroring my father who is a great parent but lacks emotions, is cut off, somewhat like yours) and then i find myself shutting down. i told you before about my virginity at nearly twenty-five, which i’ve accepted greatly since your reply, i’ve been more forthcoming and it’s been a weight lifted off my shoulders; so, thank you again.
and so, when you said about picking partners that incapable of true intimacy, it kind of struck me, is that what i’m unknowingly doing? men who weren’t interested enough to dig deep into who i am, therefore i’m guarded and safe, but then hand-in-hand were definitely not interested in sleeping with a virgin. the one man i can’t stop thinking about for the past five years (who tries to reconnect) never wanted to talk seriously, and once told me i would be prettier if i had blue eyes. i’m talking to a someone now, he seems kind-hearted, i hope i don’t get the urge to push away. see how much your words allow people to anaylze themselves? mind-blowing.
i’m glad you found happiness, happiness from your own company is the most reliable. much love, as always.
Natalia Mingorance Lombardi
I’m going through some old posts to catch up haha and I’m glad I found this one.
Thank you for opening up and sharing this with us. I relate to that, I’m so happy on my own most of the time. I’m 24 and the longest relationship I’ve had was for 08 months, with a troubled man haha, when I was 17/18. I suffered a lot in that relationship, that I wonder if it’s the reason I can’t really have a relationship anymore, these days. Who knows, right?
In the past, my parents thought there was something wrong with me, because my brother and all of my cousins have a girlfriend or boyfriend, and I was the only one that didn’t have someone. It used to bother me. But today, I accept it much better.
Anyways, I’m glad you’re happy on your own company, that is the best feeling.
Much love,
Nat <3
Jenny Zale
Hi Jane!
Happy Belated Easter! I was having some glitches with my old account (Jenny Z) on this site so I made a new one so I could continue to participate in your blog. We met in Morristown, NJ in Dec. (as you can see from my avatar photo). I was the person who gave you the wooden nesting doll with your images if you remember!
Anyway, I just want to thank you for all of the amazing things you have been doing during the shutdown. It has been wonderful to participate in the virtual FireDrill Fridays! I’m so thankful for this and I cannot wait for your book. If what is happening right now doesn’t make people understand how hard we need to fight for our planet I don’t know what will. I am just thrilled that you decided to sell the JF sweats and shirts with all proceeds going to Fire Drill Fridays and One Fair Wage! As soon as you made the post wearing the sweats a few days ago I was hoping you’d do this because I knew they would be a big hit. I ordered one set in each color plus the shirts and I know these will become an important part of my quarantine wardrobe.
I also really enjoyed the Grace & Frankie live read! It was great to tune everything out for an hour and laugh with you all. I’m thrilled that we crashed the site due to an abundance of donations for Meals on Wheels!
I understand you when you say activism is what is getting you through this difficult time. You have inspired me and I’ve been busying myself with as much volunteering as I can. It feels great to be very busy during this quarantine. I’m a Sexual Assault Crisis Counselor/Medical Advocate here in Chicago. We work in 17 Chicago ERs and we were allowed in the ERs until March 20th. I understand that our services had to be suspended for everyone’s health and safety, but it was heartbreaking because our call volume had actually increased a good deal after people started staying home. Sadly, many of these calls were for children. Our organization is still doing phone advocacy, but at this point so many people are afraid to come to the ERs whether it is due to sexual assault or a heart attack. (Chicago is an emerging hotspot.) So I started volunteering for a national crisis hotline and I feel very grateful to be able to use my counseling skills to help people in need. Physical health is super important, but I feel like not enough attention is being paid to what the crisis is doing to people mentally. Calls to the hotline have been up 400%, and most calls relate to the Covid crisis in one way or another. The hotlines just can’t keep up. The City of Chicago just unveiled a new free mental health counseling hotline for this reason. I try to counsel as many people as I can handle each day.
Also, this week I begin volunteering with One Fair Wage and I’m very excited! We will be calling people who applied for assistance from the Emergency Fund so everyone can receive aid as quickly as possible. It will be really nice to help bring people relief and good news! I learned about OFW because of your work with them so I’m very grateful you brought attention to this great organization!
I’m so happy to see you are staying safe, active and as motivated as ever! I’m quarantined with my two Yorkies and I love that you have a canine companion as well! Thank you again for all that you do!
Take care and keep fighting!
Jenny
Jane
Jenny, you’re doing God’s work for sure. Good for you. I have your nesting doll of me on my “special momentoes shelf. Thanks for buying the sweats. xx
Jenny Zale
Dear Jane! Thank you for letting me know. It really means a lot. And I just received my first order of your merchandise last week, and the sweats and shirts are really great! Everything is so cute and soft, and I love that they serve as a good starting point for me telling others about Fire Drill Friday! Thanks for everything!
Jenny xoxo
Regina McCurdy
Dear Ms. Fonda,
Thank you! I just finished watching “Jane Fonda in Five Acts”. I am happier than I have been in a very long time. Thank you for your honesty about your struggles and your family relationships. For the first time in my life I feel I understand where my Mother was during my upbringing and know that she loved me the best way she knew how. I never realized before today the amount of influence you have had on me. In my early 20’s I discovered your workout video and was transformed like many others. I owe my good physical health to you. Now I feel my mental health will be better from this day on. Hard to believe I will be 65 in a few months and feel my life is just beginning. Thank you again. With love and respect, Regina
Jane
You go, girl (Regina)!!!
SusanK
I hope you had a nice . . . quiet Easter. Just like you, I sure do miss those family and friend gatherings. I live in the Detroit area. I have been away from my sweet students for 30 days now, seeing some of their smiling faces only on Zoom. It makes me sad and I, of course, worry about the students I have not been able to make contact with yet. Life has been different, as it has been for everyone around the world. I avoid going out at all costs, except to the grocery store every couple of weeks and to carefully bring food at times to my elderly parents. I do go on walks each day, avoiding other humans at all costs. On my walks, I observe everything around me and seem to notice things that never caught my attention before. I have also seen things on my walks that will be remembered in the history books, such as the local church having a drive-thru blessing of Easter baskets. I sanitize my house like crazy as a household member comes and goes as an essential worker. As my heart breaks, I watch the numbers in Michigan continue to rise, hoping that we start to flatten that curve sometime soon. We will get back to “normal” some day, but I don’t know how long it will take. And let’s be honest, normal will not be the normal that we all have known for so long. This pandemic has most likely changed a lot of us, changed our habits and view point on life. Hopefully we will all appreciate the little things in life a little bit more.Thank you for updating us on how you are doing, Jane. Have a drink on me. 😉
Jane
Susan, we sure don’t want to return to “normal.” Normal was the problem. Fire Drill Friday, me, so many other climate and justice groups are working hard to make these historic bailout bills benefit all workers and small businesses and clean energy industries and not just big corporations including fossil fuel corps and CEOs. Maybe when people notice the cleaner air, bird songs etc they’ll want to keep it that way. Good can come out of this horror. xx
Ellie Jane
Dear Jane,
As Easter, especially at the moment, is a good period for reflection and gratitude, I just wanted to send you a quick message to thank you for the profound impact that you’ve had on my life. Not sure if you’ll see this but I thought it was worth posting anyway! 🙂
A few years ago, I read your ‘Dear Jane’ letter and it turned my whole world on its head.
Finally, in front of me, you were giving name to something that I feel like no one ever talks about – that people bury or shy away from addressing because it’s an uncomfortable topic to stomach. For me growing up, the silence surrounding the subject of childhood sexual abuse was incredibly damaging and painful. There is an unspoken wall of silence that shrouds the issue and it makes admitting these things out loud feel like a personal failing. People generally don’t want to hear about it because they don’t know how to respond, so we learn not to bring it up. We don’t feel able to explain that there are reasons why we struggle with relationships – why our eyes scan for exits, always – why we are constantly flinching. That the trauma affects so many things about us.
For the longest time, I carried guilt like a second heart inside me. I thought I was to blame somehow, and I felt so much shame. I thought that it would be impossible to love me, because I felt broken. But after reading your letter and seeing your courage in acknowledging that it had happened to you totally changed me. It was like a light came on and suddenly I wasn’t afraid anymore, and more than that, I felt the most overwhelming sense of love for your honesty. I decided in that moment that I was no longer ashamed of what happened to me, and that I wasn’t going to hide parts of myself away anymore to make other people more comfortable.
So I spoke out about what had happened to me on facebook, and the support and love that I received finally unlocked a sense of peace in me that I’d never had before. More than that, the idea that my post might have helped one more person fulfilled me deeply.
I gradually felt able to be open and honest in other areas of my life, too, and I finally came out to my family. I’m 28 now, and I’ve realised that I am brave, and strong, and I finally feel beautiful just as I am. Now my goal, every day, is to try to spark sunshine and joy for everyone I meet. I feel LIGHT and wonderful and whole.
It’s amazing how one person finding the courage to be brave sends a ripple through the whole world. Thank you, truly, for sharing your heart with the world, because you saved my life.
(As soon as this financial whirlwind of a time is over I will be getting one of your mugshot sweaters so I can take the most badass picture ever everywhere with me ;). )
THANK YOU!
All my love,
Ellie
Jane
Oh boy, Ellie, I cannot tell you how much your letter means to me. It makes my own coming out all worth it. Thank you for tellng me all this. I am so happy!!!
Stacey
Jane,
I have wanted to tell you that Grace And Frankie saved my life,literally saved my life. I was at my lowest point things I don’t want to put on here. I saw on Facebook that people were watching a show called Grace And Frankie. I was like ok I will check it out! And I never looked back! You and Lily are great together! I never laughed so much. Thank you. Will you thank Lily for me? Thank you both for saving me and from that point on I decided I will never be in another relationship again. And I have had some “friends” but I am happy being alone. My friends and family keep bugging me well this guy or he’s no thanks, been there been hurt done. What are your feelings on this? I want to learn as much as I can from you. Like you say it’s much more important to stay interested than interesting.
Love always,
Stacey
Jane
Stacey, I am so glad G&F saved your life. You are not the first person who has said that either to me or to Lily. The show reveals that there is life after heartbreak and trauma. Because, after 40 years of marriage, having one’s partner leave for a new love of the same sex, is traumatic, even if the marriage wasn’t perfect. Everyone has different needs, different levels of sexual, emotional,intellectual needs so I can’t speak you you or anyone else but I caution you on the “never be in another relationship again.” After you’ve come to know your self better, after you;ve done the needed ‘work’, you may want to become relational again. By ‘work’ I mean the reading books that are about your issues, whatever they may be, therapy if that is possible, self reflection. l
Stacey
Jane ,
My biggest issue is trust. That will be the hardest to overcome. so I will take your advice and get a book on how to trust again. I tried therepy.it’s just awkward for me. I had a bad experience the therapist I had would look at her phone or the clock when I was talking so it made me feel even more irrelevant than I already felt. I might look into texting therapy. I was mentally abused and cheated on so if I was ever to be in a relationship again I would have a hard time not thinking that the other person is cheating on me. I have a lot to work on. Thank you for the advice.
Love always,
Stacey
Candita
Jane today very good teaching, congratulations I have to read her book.
Laura
Happy Belated Easter, Jane! Same as yourself and most people, mine was quiet – we did have a family zoom call, which was lovely and made up for us being unable to share our usual Easter Sunday dinner together. Frequent video calls, quizzes, etc with loved ones far and near are something that I hope continue when quarantine is over – they can bring so much joy and something we should always make time for.
I loved your photo modelling the sweats with Tulea by your side – I bet she’s loving having you home so much and all to herself, isn’t she? I know my cat, Charlie is loving having me at home – he even sits on my laptop to prevent me from working, just so he can have that little bit more attention. Talking of the sweats, I ordered mine and can’t wait for it to arrive – it won’t be for a while yet as i’m in the UK, but i’m very excited and pleased to have been able to support Fire Drill Friday’s and One Fair Wage.
Whilst working from home, i’ve been listening to the audiobook of ‘My Life So Far’ – having been feeling in a bit of a rut lately due to being thirty next year and under the impression that i’ve not done enough with my life/become the person i want to be/etc, i just want to say thank you for inspiring me on so many levels. I realise now that i’m only at the start of my journey.
Take care, I look forward to your next blog post.
Laura. xx
Barbara
Hello Jane. How are you? I hope you are healthy! Everything is not so easy at the moment. I hope that we all learn something from this difficult time and will appreciate each other more in the future! Help each other and be there for each other! I wish you all the best and stay healthy. Lovely Greetings from germany. Kiss Barbara. I love her ❤