Any of you ever been to an Otolaryngologist? Well I did this morning. Last night my cold affected my vocal chords and I was worried about losing my voice so the production sent me to this woman doctor and she was amazing. Her walls are covered with signed photos from every actor and singer you can think of. She put some sort of contraption down my thoat and made a movie of my larynx, or was it my esophagus. I have the copy of the print out she make of it for me. My assistant asked if I wanted to put it on the blog. I said I’d be arrested for porn. This gives “Deep Throat” a whole new meaning. (But then, my assistant teaches pole dancing classes!) It looks exactly like a wet vagina in various stages of readiness. AND, dig this, the doc tells me that they discovered the cells in the throat are the same as in the labia and vagina. Men have the same throat physiology. Go figure. What’s the message here. Comments. I want comments on this. I thought I would shock everyone in the cast when I brought the print outs to the Septet rehearsal but no–they all knew exactly what the photos were cause they had all had their own made–most at the same doctor.
Oh yes, and then the doctor gave me a shot of cortisone in my butt –for my throat!!! -I’m sorry but the whole experience is wierd enough to have made me feel super charged and I did things in some scenes I’d never done before. The other actors gave me a thumbs up, so I guess it worked ok. I am so psyched for tonight. My throat has become a humming vagina. Wait till I tell Eve Ensler. In fact, I’ll send the print outs to her. She may write a whole new monologue.
Isabella Rossellini and her half sister, Pia Lindstrom, came to the matinee and loved it. Pia, after telling me she was a Tony voter, asked me to be interviewed on her sirius radio show. I told her I would do it if she voted for me for the Tonys. I know, it was totally inappropriate but I think it just slipped out of my newly lubricated throat. What next?
Isabella Rossellini and Pia Lindstrom photo: (Rachel Brenna)
Tim and Wren Wirth are coming tonight and then taking me to dinner. I will try to be on my pees and Qu’s, he runs Ted’s U.N. Foundation after all. But who knows. It’s just my luck that Redford isn’t seeing the show tonight.
Senator Tim Wirth (photo: Michael Rudd)
See you next time.
Karen
Well, Jane, the things that I learn from you! My sister is a nurse and I don’t know whether she would have described your experience so colourfully, and she is colourful! (sorry, Aussie spelling here). I would have liked to be a fly on the wall when you showed your pic to the rest of the cast and see their nonchalant reactions! As long as it worked, Jane! Oh and Isabella, if only all the models these days would follow her footsteps and not be stringbeans with pouts and drug problems! She was such a natural person and I am sure that she still is. You’d better win that Tony, with or without Pia’s help! All of us bloggers will be mortified if you don’t! Keep going strong girl!
David Rahall
No comment, except…you’re hilarious today!:-)
Hinda
OMG–It’s the cortisone talking. I think you are gonna get arrested just for that blog!! You are a funny lady. I didn’t see that the times we met at CNN events. You definitely has blossomed….oh, there is the cortisone at work, of course.
Amanda
Jane, I think it’s safe to say that is this by far thee greatest post you have written. I’m laughing partially because just reading this all is so hysterical, but also because I think you’ve managed to minorly embarrass me. I’m totally blushing. Now, I’ve never had a film of the inside of my throat taken, but I’ve seen photos in health class and doctors’ offices, thus I can understand the visual comparison to the vagina.
I know the premise of “Deep Throat” was that Linda Lovelace’s clit was located in her esophagus, but I thought the arousal part was supposed to be exaggerated for the plot of the film. Are you saying that stimulation in your throat is just as satisfying as vaginal sex? (My apologies if I sound completely dense or am reading into this all wrong).
My new favorite line (or best quote of the day) is: “My throat has become a humming vagina.” Just when I thought you couldn’t be any cooler, you write that. You are epic, Jane.
I’m betting Eve can conjure up something pretty spectacular with this information:) Once again, vaginas for the win!
You truly are the bee’s knees, Jane. Don’t ever stop being awesome.
All my very best,
Amanda
(proud vagina owner)
bs
There are just so many different angles you could go with the comments on this!
I am quite amused because I’ve always had such a crush on my ENT (even before he went to med school). Maybe it’s physiological…..who knew!
Morgan Paige Fisher
Well that explains a lot! I don’t really know how else to comment on that one…..
Bill Carey
“My throat has become a humming vagina”.
Classic.
Joe
Hello Ms. Fonda!
I saw the show Tuesday evening, and to say that it was wonderful would be an understatement. I am sorry to see here on your blog that you were not feeling well. Take it from me that it did not harm your performance at all. You were amazing. I was tremendously moved by your performance and the play. It is a beautiful ensemble piece that should be seen by everyone. I was so pleased to be a part of an audience that stood and applauded theater at its very best. Thank you for signing your book for me. It only helped to make the evening more memorable to make a contribution to help those with AIDS. As I was walking by the theater today before catching my flight to Ohio and home, I saw Zack Granier standing outside the theater door. I had to stop and tell him how much I enjoyed the play and his performance. He was very kind, and told me that he had a great deal of fun at Tuesday night’s performance. After waiting months for my trip to New York to see 33 Variations, I must finally again say thank you for bringing your gifts to the Broadway stage. The play is perfect. It is a night in theater I will never forget.
Shelley
Love the deep throat comments. Glad to hear you are finding humor, even when you are feeling a bit sick. I just finished reading your book “My Life So Far”, last weekend. I have been trying to find the time to read it for awhile. It was worth it. Loved every page. My daughter came home from college and her and I watched On Golden Pond together. Now she is also a fan.
Joe
In my last response, I mispelled Zach Grenier’s name, and wanted to correct it here. He was so kind when I spoke to him outside the theater Wednesday afternoon, and is obviously such a gifted actor, I think the readers of your blog should see his name written correctly. Again thank you Ms. Fonda and cast for the best show on Broadway.
Bonnie Fenton
I hope you are feeling better. I was in the audience tonight and at the stage door….. it was not apparent to anyone in the audience that you were sick….
It was an honor to see you and the cast in this amazing play… I hope that I will be able to get back to NYC before it is over and see it again — I think it takes more than one time to absorb all the subtleties.
Be well…prayers and thoughts of healing to you!
Garry
whoa that’s a little too much info for a bloke to swallow…. (I kill myself lol)
I just now (this minute) finished The Fondas by Peter Collier. Not sure I believed it all, or whether it was authorised, but thank you (or him) for an interesting read. I thought he was a bit rough on you at the end of the book. What the heck does “imperiousness” mean anyway. Makes me think of the Barrymores or Olivier. Keep smiling always.
Ingrid
Jane, I’ve been enjoying reading your blogs and seeing such good quality pictures. However, since you requested comments on this, I decided to be brave and make one: in my opinion, this was too personal coming from a very respected and professional actress. A bit disappointing. Had to say it! sorry. However, I’m looking forward to future blogs that are more on the wholesome entertainment line. Thank you.
Jennifer
Huh Jane Fonda, fascinating, yes. Great actress, business woman, yes. Wholesome entertainment? What fun is that? I thought the blog was original and almost as funny as what Jane said on the Today Show awhile back. Boy I hope Ingrid didn’t hear that!!!
steve
Wow Jane, very interesting blog entry today! I think it is so funny they all knew what the photos were already….I guess my comment would be, we are all the same at the end of day!
-S
Kelsey Ozga
“My throat has become a humming vagina”
Hahahahaha!
I saw, maybe about a year ago (maybe more) Steven Tyler did something similar to this with his throat and they had it on TV. I mean, that man doesn’t sing…he screams! So talented. They had a doctor show his throat, vocal cords, and things like that. It was really something. I was thinking, if Steven Tyler screams/sings the way he does…wouldn’t we all have loved to see Janis Joplin’s throat? Just a thought.
Oh and a shot in your butt for your throat? Wow, thats a new one.
Karen
comment on your last line, Kelsey, must be an Irish doctor. (I can say that because I am half Irish).
Hannah Castellaw
This is a strange coincidence.
My mother is in late-stage Alzheimer’s disease. I was telling my therapist yesterday that I believe that love and the ‘memories’ of it do not exist exclusively in the brain. At this stage Mama’s brain has atrophied and is actually smaller. She may not know cognitively who I am, but she ‘knows’ somewhere in her body or soul. Love has transcended the physical cerebral memory. My therapist said she read that scientists have found similarities between brain cells and heart cells. Can we store memories in other organs or parts of the body?
Anyway, getting to your humming vagina throat, I’ve heard people talk about throat ‘orgasms’…experiencing them during deep kissing, etc.
Makes perfect sense to me.
And, I can’t leave without saying ‘WOW’ in response to the picture of Isabella and Pia. Smart and talented women! And beautiful, too. Ingrid Bergman is one of my all-time favorite actors. So sublime. Such smoldering energy, such subtlety.
Love to all,
Hannah
Hannah Castellaw
BTW, my mother was diagnosed with dementia at age 62. She is now 71 and beginning to have trouble swallowing. The beginning of the end.
I look at how wonderful and active and full your life is, and even though I try not to, I wonder what my mother would be doing now if she didn’t have this horrible disease.
I’ve recently added Maria Shriver to my hero list for the work she is doing for people living with Alzheimer’s Disease.
Terry
Wow Wow now i no why i Love you so much you can make a vist to the Doctors office fun.i cant write any more i am laughing to much
Matthew DeCoster
Since this post is so very oral in nature –
I’ll never forget when Ernest Thompson won his Oscar and told the audience he wanted to, what was it exactly(?), “Suck face with each and every one of you!”
Joe Stanford
Jane- U R sooo crazy!! I love U!!!
Keep blogging baby!!!
I love seeing the pics backstage every night-I’m totally living vicariously through you!!!
Thank U!!’
Joe
sky
hi – about your throat – my friend who is a professional singer always used steam for her throat – vicks and mabis both make these steam inhaler devices, and they can be found in local pharmacies, i imagine. she would also get shots from the ENT, but as i am sure you know too much cortisone can be bad…causes cataracts, lessens bone density, etc. additionally, she drank a hot tea called throat coat often during periods when she was performing and had vocal chord issues. my guess is that the constant projection of your voice has strained your chords. a cold would only exacerbate that. good luck. try sleeping with a humidifier running, too.
let me know how these remedies work for you if you try them. sending you many wishes for a speedy resolution.
Lee Eastwood
Wondering if you discussed this with Earnest. Very cute!!
Ashleigh German
LOL. Oh Jane, I’m sitting here in the university’s library trying to stiffle a fit of giggles and blushing!!
The girl sitting next to me thinks I’m nuts!!
You are a hoot and very very brave to write what you do, and I hope you continue after the show has ended – the world needs your wisdom and humour!
Love always, Ashleigh xx
(19 and from the UK)
Sue Fawcett
Maybe the show should be called “33 Vaginas” or thereabouts. Openings, vaginas, cells, and imagery…maybe cell similarity has to do with openings? Expanding and contracting? Hmmmm! A fun and interesting blog…
Justin Randolph
I love this! I’m a trained opera singer (now aspiring actor) and I’ve had my vocal folds looked at many times…and I have OFTEN thought they look like a vagina (pussy flaps would be the crude way I usually say)…anyways. The vocal folds are really one of the most mysterious and intriguing parts of the body!
I hope you’re feeling better! Throat Coat tea really helps before a performance as well as slippery elm lozengers (which you can get from almost any health food store). The lozengers will help lubricate *ahem that vagina in your throat. 🙂
Thank you for being real and accessible! I can’t wait to see your show before it closes.
XOXO
Justin
David Jay
You throat/vagina experience is fascinating. Def. an Eve Ensler monologue waiting to happen!
Where on Earth did you get that wonderful shirt with your mug shot on it?! Can we get our own?!
I loved your performance last week, as I’ve loved so many of your wonderful performances over the years. My best friend and I used to do your workout in college every night (the audio cassette!!) and that was my first real experience with exercise.
Thank you for your presence!
Ottilia
In my opinion, your blog this time was weird but really funny!
First I thought what is going on in your mind and was it a good idea to write about that subject like you did. Especially when we talk about a person in your position.
Your blog made my think about my grandmother who passed away few years ago at the age of 79. I thougt: “Oh my God! My grandmother would have never said something like that in your age! And in public, on the Internet where anyone can read it!”
But then I realized the point. Why should we be so reserved all the time? Why should we care so much what other people might think? So what. You must enjoy your life and say what you really think. You are just who you are; everyone can’t like you or all the things you do. You must take chances! And age is not the problem!
Must say, after all this consideration (I mean in a good way): “Grandma, you rock!”
Ottilia
I must add this to my previous message:
I have seen a picture of my deep throat and you’re right; no doubt, it looks pretty much like a vagina.
Have a nice day! 🙂
Sarah
Freakin fascinating story about your throat, or all our throats for that matter. I love your honesty and sense of humor. I learn something new every day!!!
Dee
Very funny post. My Mother [who is your age] says cortisone makes her feel energized and crazy – so it’s like legal cocaine! LOL When I take it I just feel puffy and weird. Glad you enjoyed it!
Amanda
Oh, and I totally didn’t even think of this until just now, but this post reminds me of Dan Aykroyd’s famous line from weekend update (SNL): “Jane, you ignorant slut.”
I mention this in a completely jovial/humorous context!
Best,
Amanda
Kim
Jane,
I am an actress in Florida and had this exact same procedure done! (Shot in the butt and all!) Of course, my doc didn’t inform me about the correlation between throat/vagina cells…alas. I still have my infamous “Deep Throat” photos. They’re good for a laugh, anyway.
Hope you’re feeling better and much continued success in 33 Variations. Love & light, Kim
Joe Meyers
I have had so much fun reading your blog each day and today’s post is a real doozy!
What a terrific thing you’ve been doing to allow us to share your experience with this play – it’s like a very smart reality show.
Can’t wait to see the play!
Troy
Uhm?
Mom,
This is your Son. The other kids are making fun of me. Can you come home now?
Slurve
Troy
clay bryce
This may be your best blog yet. Funny and also very intriguing. Especially the part about the throat. As a gay man, what you said about the interior of the throat,now suddenly makes a whole lot of sense.
Cathy
I am so enjoying your blog. You are the real deal, for sure. I wish you would bring 33 Variations to San Francisco. We always appreciate a great play and solid actors.
Jessamyn Geesaman
As a lesbian I have often found a vagina in my mouth. Now Jane Fonda tells me I have one there all the time! What better news could a gal receive?
Hannah Castellaw
I can’t stop laughing!!!!
Trish
Jane, I feel like I am living the Theatre Tri-fecta beginning tonight with you in 33V (please tell me your throat is better)…than Blythe Spirit and 9 to 5 on Sat!
I believe we are sitting in the 2md or 3rd row so I may wear my “condom Hat” to protect me from any flying secretions!
Have long admired your work and your attitude. Always moving forward….learning all the way!
PS: I got a little choked up (pun intended) over your throat situation.
Barbara
Dearest Jane,
Personally I think this Doc wanted check out your butt.
Can’t say I blame her.
You are to funny.
Sorry I can’t resist this but if your throat is ready does that mean your vagina is too? Ha!
You said you wanted comments.
Ok on a serious note being a health freak I’m not to
crazy about cortizone. It masks how your throat really
feels and it seems you could do more harm than good.
Best is to rest your throat and gargle with mullein tea
or chlorophll. Keeping some garlic chopped finely in vodka in your refrig. Its great for sore throat, toothache,
earache.
The show must go on I know but I believe you would
have been fine without cortizone.
Drink a little chlorophyll in water everyday it will keep
you in good working order. Chlorophyll is very close
genetically to our own blood.
Anyone reading don’t take this if your on a blood thinner.
Jane you sooo got the power!
I have got to meet you one day.
Peace in,
Barbara
Barbara
Speaking of throats.
Isabella Rossellini’s voice is about as hot as it gets.
Don’t let her use that cortizone on those beautiful
vocal chords.
I adore Isabella’s mom! Another beautiful voice.
Oh I love the movie her Mom is in with Cary Grant.
What’s the name? An Affair to Remember?
Barbara
Yolanda
this his HILARIOUS. i’ve been reading your blog for a while, and i’m in the middle of reading your book. i’ve been meaning to leave you a comment to tell you how awesome your book (i guess, your life) is.
and then… this… your thrumming vagina throat. you’re hilarious.
Jamilka
hahahahhaha…mmmm…. I don’t know what to say im still trying to imagine that lol……
.” humming vagina”
Loved this entry….hahahhahaha
Brandon
Haha! Well, I guess that accounts for why we gay men are so talented–and are able to instruct our sisters! This post is absolutely hilarious! The humming vagina….honey chile I know absolutely nothing of what you speak…although I have heard of that movie.
Abbey Road
You’re not seriously using a cortisone shot for cover, are you? Careful, your originality and wit are showing …. wait til hubby reads this one! How I wish I’d thought of that one …. Humming Throat …. Humming Vagina ..I won’t be able to sleep tonight for thoughts of Deep Throat … adore Miss Isabella and Miss Pia … again, you are blessed with the loveliest circle, Miss Jane.
Tom Vitale
Hi Jane Fonda,
While reading the comments, I found myself thinking: “Just another beautiful Jane Fonda blog entry to me”.
I know you speak your mind. That is part of why I identify with you so much !
Tom!
Angela
LOL! you are awesome. I hope you and your voice are feeling better! I would offer this one other comparison between our vocal cords and our, ahem … they both work better when they are lubricated! 🙂 You can “lube up” your vocal cords by getting a cool mist humidifier and letting it run in your room every night while you are sleeping. I’m a singer and have dealt with bouts of laryngitis and ENT visits as well. I’ve really grown to depend on my humidifier and always take it with me when I’m on tour and performing every night. It makes a huge difference. My ENT also told me to stay away from cough/throat drops containing menthol, because that actually dries out the vocal cords and makes it worse, also, any cold medicine that dries up congestion will have the unhappy effect of drying up your vocal cords. That’s why laryngitis sometimes outlasts the cold itself, a lot of the things we take to “help” a cold are hard on our vocal cords, especially when one is having to use them in performing every night with no chance to rest. You probably already know all this, but just in case… oh and check out Julie Andrews’ autobiography “Home” where she’s telling of her and Rex Harrison’s throat troubles while performing on Bway in My Fair Lady, I found that pretty interesting.
Feel better and have a great week!
Christine Valenciano
this is one funny entry. i read your blog whenever i can. don’t stop.
“humming vagina” eh? 🙂
you rock.
Ting
(from Manila)
Maggie V
“…AND, dig this, the doc tells me that they discovered the cells in the throat are the same as in the labia and vagina. Men have the same throat physiology. Go figure. What’s the message here. Comments. I want comments on this.”
I just discovered this particular post and since no one has addressed this point I guess I will. Men are differentiated females – that’s why they have nipples. All fetuses are female until a certain point in the gestation – in humans this is approximately six weeks – when if the fetus is genetically programmed to be male the mothers’ body has to produce a cascade of hormones to start the differentiation. The vaginal lips close to form the scrotum (that’s the scar on the underside of the scrotal sac); the clitoris remains on the outside of the body and the small, undeveloped ovaries remain in that state.
Interestingly if the fetus is genetically female the tissue that would have become the prostate gland remains and develops into the G-spot – the stimulation of which can result in female ejaculation.
The differentiation process is not exact – hence trans-genderism, which is essentially a birth defect. Sometimes the differentiation takes place when it shouldn’t and you have a man who has a female psyche and other times the differentiation fails to take place and the fetus remains female, but with a male psyche. So much for the notion that males and females are separate species. (BRRRRIIIINNNNGGGG) Okay class, that’s it for today. Please read chapter 17 and be ready for a quiz tomorrow.
Maggie
René Pedraza
As a man I am thrilled to discover I own a vagina of my own with the same cells and juiciness of the real thing. All I can say is you really made me laugh out loud. You are too much Jane!