I feel I am in the middle of a parenthesis. Part of it, I’m sure, is that I feel an emptiness inside me where Dr Katherine Brandt used to reside. ( she was the character I played in “33 Variations). Part of it is that I have had a sinus infection ever since the play ended and so I feel under the weather. A big part of it is what is happening in the world– in Japan and the Middle East– especially Libya right now. Part of me is trying to go about my life as though I wasn’t sick and things were normal, yet I am glued to the TV, relentlessly seeing the relentless images from both parts of the world. I marvel at the Japanese people I see interviewed — they seem almost noble in the way they face their catastrophe..I feel too out of it to properly describe what I mean, but the words generous, philosophical, brave, polite are what come to mind. Is it because they are an island people? Is it because of the horrors they and their forebears have gone through ( Hiroshima…) already? Is it cultural? Or am I imagining it? I am so scared for them– for all of us– if the situation at the nuclear plants continues or worsens.

I think “China Syndrome” should be shown again on TV because it would help people understand what Is going on…as it did during the Three Mile Island event. I know that a lot of very smart, good people think nuclear energy should be ” part of the mix” in America’s energy future. For me, the one positive thing about all this is that it might get those decision makers to change their minds. There are simply too many things– earthquakes, cyclones, tornadoes, terrorists, human error, etc– that could turn a nuclear power plant into a catastrophe. And no one yet has figured out how to dispose of the toxic, unforgiving waste. I am so sorry that the Japanese people, they who have already suffered so from the atomic bomb, are having to bear this burden. I pray it brings everyone to their senses.

I am in the car driving to the Albuquerque airport to go back to L. A. I’ve been at my ranch for 5 days. Carole, my assistant, is driving. I hardly went outside while I was there– highly unusual for me but I didn’t feel well enough. I did, however, have to rehearse the choreography for the next two exercise DVDs I will shoot in 2 weeks. They’re going to be really good.

Richard’s in NY with the musical he is part of that opens on Broadway April 24th…” Baby It’s You“. I am glad he’s there. When I am not well I like being alone although, when he is with me, he makes a perfect Jewish mother– taking care of me, bringing me stuff to make me well. I’m not as good at care taking. Every night I have dreamed that Tulea is lost and I can’t find her.

In spite of being sick, I got a lot done at the ranch (when i wasn’t watching TV) including reading through the completed copy edited manuscript of my book. Whew! I really like this book. It has everything I would want to know about preparing for and going through the Third Act…if I say so myself. It makes me laugh in parts and in parts it makes me cry.

Maybe that’s why I feel between parenthesis– so many things have ended and I don’t feel emotionally prepared to put closure on this phase– and, globally speaking– I’m scared what closure might look like.

Enough already. Babbling! Tomorrow is another day. Xxxnxxxx

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