The Morning After (Inauguration)

Woke up still high from yesterday. Saw the photo of Obama at his desk in the Oval Office! Goose bumps. Loved reading the New York Times with so many wonderful articles, especially the one about Obama’s extended, diverse family. And—wonder of wonders—Maureen Dowd wrote an op ed that wasn’t cynical!!

I feel as though I am coming out of a thaw. I think, like many of us, I went into a sort of numbness so as not to fully groc the toxicity of the last 8 years. Now that it is over and my country is being reclaimed, feeling is coming back, tingling back into my heart. I am re-remembering what hope feels like. Thank you, Barack. Thank you, Lord.

 

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The first half of the day we had what Moises described as a “stumble through” as opposed to a “run through.” Everyone agreed that it went exceptionally well given that we have only had 8 days of rehearsal.

I am pretty much “off book” (I know my lines) although there’s plenty of fine-tuning to be made in the memorizing department. My dialogue is complicated in that there are many lines close together that are almost the same but not quite…and the ‘not quites’ are important.

It was extremely helpful to run through the play from start to finish, especially because I have to figure out the dosing of my disease, how bad is gets from one scene to the next. It is all quite subtle because this isn’t about disease, it’s about time. Time running out. The need to slow down time. Reclaim it. Learn to see things differently, the way one can only when time is slowed.

One of the most interesting aspects of acting is that it forces you to see where your natural tendencies take you, to confront the habits that life has engrained, the ruts your wheels gravitate too when left unchecked. It’s not always a pretty thing to see and certainly not always helpful when the part you are playing requires you to switch gears, change ruts, use new muscles. Real life doesn’t always force us to take a hard look at the ruts.

In rehearsal, I am seeing how I tend to gravitate toward “victimhood.” This is hard to admit. I hate this characteristic in people and now I am forced to see it in myself. My character, Dr Katherine Brant, is a take-charge, alpha personality who immerses herself in her professional passion—music—and has little tolerance for those who make emotional demands on her.

On the outside, I appear more like this than I really am. Or—horror of horrors—maybe I hide this strength in myself when I am acting in order to be liked. Just the fact of writing this down will oblige me to commit myself even more forcefully to get rid of this character weakness.

Now I’m “home” and about to get ready for some physical therapy. Let me tell you, getting old isn’t for sissies, as Bette Davis once said. Sometimes I feel like a jalopy with various parts needing repair. But then I think about 82 year old Estelle Parsons, climbing up and down endless flights of steep stairs 8 times a week in the Broadway play “August.” Not to mention Beethoven who was deaf when he composed the last of the Diabelli 33 Variations and the Mass in C, two of the most magnificent works of music ever written.

On that note, See you next time!

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3 Comments
  1. you are an inspiration in more ways than you know… keep the humidifiers going and remember to clean them often.

  2. “Thank you, Barack. Thank you, Lord.”

    Amen to that, Jane. The healing light of democracy has finally sought out and cauterized America’s malignancy.

    Similar lines that come in rapid succession are a nightmare, but can be combatted if you ascribe a particular meaning to each and every one.

    It strikes me that all of your blogged experiences with 33 Variations would make a riveting chapter in your forthcoming book, in both an advisory/practical sense, and as a metaphorical illustration of starting again. There’s so much material to be mined here.

    Yes, getting older is not for cissies… and we all know it ends in tears in the end. But the key to it all is how to make the best of what and who we have and are when we are here… gloriously, blisteringly, panfully alive!

    I can’t wait to read your new book. You have always been success oriented, but always so desperately keen to make a positive and progressive impact on the wider community.

    Well here is yet another opportunity for you, Jane. How exciting we all find it!

  3. I like you Jane and I heard a number of years ago that you had become a Christian – I hope you are because Jesus is so wonderful and I love him so. He is such a lovely Lord.

    I would never question ones salvation if they say they are born again, but I must question why you think our new president is a blessing to America. All the things he is imposing on us as a nation is going against what the Bible says.

    I am one that really believes in the bible and if God says it’s evil then I don’t call it good. I pray for our new president because the Lord says to pray for those in authority and I ask the Lord to help him and his lovely family.

    I have spent sometime reading the bills and the things they are adding to them and my heart is sadden, but then I remind myself that my hope is not in our government, nor in our economy, but I hope in my God. My trust and confidence is always in Jesus Christ.

    I feel like this new government is trying to put out Christianity and I just laugh because when a government begins to stop the Lord all they do is start a fire that they fine cannot be put out. China is a lovely example — they have the largest underground Christian church in the world. Maybe we will be blessed and the same thing will happen in America. It happen in Russia in the 60’s & 70’s.

    When Kings and nations try to stop God – He sits in the heavens and laughs –when I read the bills going through congress and listen to our new president — I stop and say Lord are you laughing again.

    Bless you dear Jane — we have come along ways from the 60’s — I am so glad that Jesus ran me down — because I was in the mud, but He picked me up – washed me clean and gave me great joy and peace. The best thing he gave me is a heart full of love — I can bless and even love my enemies — because He loves them so.

    I am 61 and no I wouldn’t go back in time for one moment – I love being this age — it delights my heart – God is good all the time — Praise you Lord Jesus.

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