THE MELANCHOLY OF TRANSITIONS

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Where has the summer gone? It went by so fast. I know that in some parts of the country where the temp is still over 100 degrees it still feels like summer but here at my ranch..brrr. The leaves are really starting to turn yellow and when I go back to Atlanta next Monday I hope I’ll get to see the gorgeous Liquidamber in their crimson fall finery.
I haven’t heard from my daughter as to whether the Georgia flooding had any impact on her house. Guess I’ll soon see for myself. Monday’s her birthday. Tuesday I do a nice fundraising event for G-CAPP— in the home of one of our board members, Walter Jospin…dinner and a reading I do about the experience of making “On Golden Pond.” It is a funny and moving experience for all. When it comes to the end, about my father winning his Oscar and dying 5 months later, I always have a hard time not choking up. I’m doing the same reading for a group from Santa Fe at my home for the benefit of the Women’s Media Center. Oct 1st I do it in Dallas.

3 more days at the ranch. I start to have separation anxiety about now, added to the inevitable melancholy that accompanies all transitions, especially at my age when there is a limited number of falls left—30 maybe.

See you next time.

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46 Comments
  1. May you have many more than 30!

  2. Beautiful picture of your Ranch, and the leaves turning a lovely fall color. Happy Birthday to your Daughter! Have an awesome weekend!

  3. Ms. Jane Fonda,

    I have read your essay, remarks with family history at background but reflects other peoples experiences to-day aswell.

    Vivaldi is the one who described seasons reflecting one’s life line. Your essay also reminded me that.

    Anyway, hope you get bored several springs than you expect! Hope your contrubutions to go on for people aswell.

    There is no precious Oscar rather than the one to be won in others hearths.

    Yours Sincerely,

    and a very happy birthday for your daughter too!

    Humanistic Left member, http://www.insancilsol.com

    R.Bülend Kırmacı

  4. I just love the movie On Golden Pond. Your dad always reminded me of my grandpa and I lost my beloved dad last summer, so I understand the loss. What a beautiful and timeless film. I love you and all the characters in it.

  5. Jane,
    Don’t feel like the Lone Ranger about handling transitions from summer to fall to winter to spring. I go through it the same way now that I’m 67. You’re right – you start to think about how many of them you have left, etc. We should think that way our whole lives regarding many things so we actually “live” wholeheartedly every day. You seem to be handling all of it so gracefully and easily – Congratulations!

  6. Hi Jane, I just attended the funeral this morning of a woman who lived to be 93. She served others through her little community and church here in NYC. Amazing how we impact the lives of others and don’t even know it — with a kind word or a small gesture.

    You’ve done so much to serve others — to raise awareness, to stop violence, to help someone less fortunate and to entertain us in diverse ways. That seems to be the answer to a long, good life — love, service, hard work, friends and family.

    I, too, get a little blue when summer slips into fall back East. I lost my father in the month of September in 1974 when I was only fourteen. So autumn always reminds me of that life changing loss and transition. Now I celebrate his life in every great thing I see during this season.

  7. Jane I can feel the pull on your heart strings about leaving N.M.
    Seeing Vanessa should lift your spirits. And hopefully her home is safe and sound.

    Just want to mention my entry in the last blog about your garden, river and grasses didn’t make it on the page. Was there a problem?
    I wrote to you about your beautiful grasses.

    Heard Whitney Houston on Oprah and her song was
    very powerful. Also Barbra Streisand was on but a half hour is just a tease. What was Oprah thinking? Maybe this timing was Barbra’s wish.

    I’m thankful we still have our 4 seasons. They may
    be changing but they are still here and it is a relief to see each one arrive.
    The mother earth just keeps pulling them off even with all our reckless behavior.

    Love and light,
    earthkeeper

  8. P.S.
    Beautiful photo! Is that sage growing between the trees?
    earthkeepa

  9. There is a certain spiritual awareness in the experience of melanc(holy). Like all emotions we are meant to embrace them. As I like to remind myself in such moments more frequent than not, I am not alone.

  10. Who took my Summer?
    Ive heard people talk about post-Christmas depression.What a crock!.Christmas has become so tense that we are relieved when its over.Ill take the new year with its promise of a new beginning,fresh snow and warm weather around the corner anyday.But late August/Early Sept?What a freakin bummer time period THAT is.If youre in school this time can be either nerve-racking or exciting or both.But when youve been out of school since three weeks after the original ‘Star Wars’ came out,Sept.gradually loses all usefullness.

    Come Labor Day,the waterparks and pools and outdoor concerts all end. Hang on!It’s Sept.2 and its freaking 85 out!I am not ready to huddle under a throw on the sofa,nursing hot cocoa and staring at the flame of a cinnomen scented candle.Not yet!You save that crap for October!Ill even throw in a jar full of candy corn with it.

    Now is the time for everyone to make the mental lists(or actual lists if youre that anal)of everything you love to do in summer that you didnt get around to doing this year.Did you at least look at the ocean?Did you down a greasy burger and a melting ice cream cone at that outdoor joint with the ridicoulesly long lines?Did you see any outdoor plays,chill on SPAC’s lawn?Did you get your fill of fireworks,margarettias and watermelon?Did your slow cooker gather enough dust as you ate exclusivly of food burned over propane or charcoal?Did you strain to hear the dialogue of a double feature at the drive in?Did you donate more blood to mosquitos then you ever safely could to the red cross in your lifetime?

    If you answer no to any of these questions,there’s always next year.Just try not to lose that list.

  11. I know you must be experiencing some melancholy about leaving your lovely ranch! That would be hard! It has to be beautiful there this time of year! It seems like it must be a “magical place”…with so many wonders to experience!

    Yes, Atlanta is still wet in places after so much rain last week through this past Monday. Parts of I20 were under water as well Six Flags, subdivisions, and various other places around Atlanta. I heard that it’s the most rain we’ve had on consecutive days in 30 years! A lot of people are homeless now and hurting!

    So glad to hear that you are coming back to Atlanta for awhile! I know your daughter and grandchildren will be glad to see you again!!

    That would be a treat to hear you talking about “On Golden Pond”! I know it must be difficult to talk about your dad in that movie and having him win the Oscar and dying soon after that, but you’ll handle it well, Jane! You express yourself so well in your books! I’m reading your book My Life So Far now, and it is so good! You’ve opened your heart and soul for all to see and learn from! That takes a certain amount of courage to do!

    Take care!

  12. Buy or rent my memoirs, “My LIfe S Far,” cause the chapter about the making of that movie is really good (if I say so myself). In fact thw whole book is really good.

    • I haven’t gotten to the chapter in your book, “My Life So Far”, about making the movie, On Golden Pond, yet, but I look forward to reading it. I can see why it took you five years to write this book. There is so much detail and your own thoughts about various issues in each chapter I’ve read so far. I can just imagine the many hours of writing and rewriting and research that went into this wonderful book!! It’s easy reading and full of interesting details and information! It’s so well written! It definitely gives one insight to you as a person, Jane.

  13. Just want to let you know that my entry in the 9/19 blog didn’t make it on the page. I had no idea what happened!

    The picture is wonderful!! Thanks for sharing it with me. Hope Vanessa and your grandchildren are OK.

  14. Jane, through all of the confidential posts I’ve been sending something has become very apparent to me today. Before I treated my last patient. I believe that the healing integration process I’ve been going through, throughout my life, has occurred through through a healing, integration process through the characters in your films, as well as your personal personna in the world. Which is why I identified with you and your characters, as a coping mechanism. When I became a monk, through years of celibacy and meditation a lot of the wounds got healed. They stabilized. But this process has opened them. It hasn’t been so easy. But I’m so grateful for this opportunity and experience. I didn’t go looking for it, but I believe the Grace of God and my Guru brought it and you to me. To help me. My faith has gotten tested. Today a couple of real challenges tested the process and I was tempted to stop but I’m pretty far into the process, I can’t. And I handled it. I’ve been a part of your tribe for a long time. Which is why I turned to you during what has,for me, been feeling like my darkest hour. Your strength has helped to keep me alive. I want you to know I love you with all my heart. I have only the greatest respect and admiration for you. I always will.

    With love
    Nirmala

  15. Recently, your St. Joan character came into my mind. I heard voices, of inspiration giving me hope and telling me that she turned the war around, to be strong.

    I know I’m not schizophrenic, my shrinks have confirmed that. And I’m aware that writers can use muses when then they write, which I began hearing with my book. At first it freaked me out, but my publisher’s wife, Judith Paige Mitchell who wrote the Covenant, helped me through that one. I’m also able, through my Yoga and meditation practice to step back and observe the process. And, whenever I’m with Diane Ladd she constantly talks about, with and to her voices.

    I’ve never had your St. Joan character manifest herself in me as a role model. Her energy is very strong. She might be the one who sent me Larry King’s attorney when Cedars tried to sue me for my royalties who the LA times has dubbed the Prince of Darkness, he’s so powerful.

    With love
    Nirmala

  16. I don’t know where summer went! It just went one day, and now it is cold! Already!

    I like to hear you keep up on GCAPP often, its needed!

    On Golden Pond is a movie that always gets me and sometimes I wonder if i’ll ever have my moment in the boat with my dad. Time will tell.

    Beautiful photo by the way!

  17. Jane, I know I’ve sent you a barrage of the posts the catharsis I’m having. But I’ve been communicating so long with you in my head I feel I need to know if I’m really in touch with you. Or if some muse might be coming through. I have felt such a connection with you, could you please let me know if I’m not imagining it by sending an me an email so I know I’m not going nuts.

    Nirmala

  18. I always long for New Mexico in the fall. I grew up in New Mexico. We lived in Las Cruces while my husband was in school. Green chile, the smell of it cooking always reminds me of the fall. I can recognize New Mexico skies and clouds anywhere!

  19. Dear Birthday Buddy,

    We share the same birthday – you are only eight-years older than me. Here’s my take on becoming 65 in December:

    1. Medicare will pay for the removal of a posterior cataract that I have had for four years and couldn’t afford to have removed – therefore, since I still work, I’m thrilled to finally be getting the help I have needed for so long. There is no free medical treatment for people who work, therefore, we are forced to live with our ailments. This is the reality and the tragedy of our country, i.e., it spends billions on war and lets its people go hungry, homeless, and without medical care they desperately need.

    2. Medicare will pay for the treatment of other medical problems that I have, including heart disease, that I could not afford to get treatment for. While this may extend my life by a few years, I hope that the quality of my life will improve by receiving the treatment I need.

    Receiving Medicare and medical treatment is giving me a new life. I’m not scared of what the future will bring now that I have this safety net. I am single with no children, and am very much alone and on my own.

    I hope in sharing this with you and your readers that you know that there are many good things ahead for all of us – it’s all in how we look at life. I am thankful for everyday and feel eternally optimistic about life. I can’t wait to get my vision restored to my left eye. It gives me something to “look” forward to and to feel grateful for. It will be a wonderful 65th birthday present and Christmas present to myself!

    Life is very good indeed!

  20. Dear Jane.

    Your ranch is as beautiful as you are!

    I wish your daughter a wonderful birthday.

  21. I feel the same way. Up here in Oregon it’s still been warm during the day but they say an arctic front is coming in next week. Even without that, it’s obvious fall is in the air as well as the calendar.

  22. Dear Ms. Fonda,

    I love the idea of a reading by you about the making of O.G.P..
    One of my all time favorite movies not only for it’s shear entertainment value & quality but for the inner bells it rings to one who comes, as so many do, from a dysfunctional family.

    Ironically my dear late father with whom I had many negative issues until he took a hard look at his role as a father when I was twenty & ill & literally overnight transformed from a man I thought I hated into a father I previously had only dreamed of having. I lost him when I was twenty-nine & he only sixty-three but one of my fondest memories was of his being a general manager at the NYC Metropolitan Club where your post premiere or preview party for O.G.P. was held.

    At some point in the evening during the festivities you were crying, tears of joy I presume, & seemed to be in need of a tissue & my dad not one to fuss over details like find you a real tissue but at least not one to hand you a used handkerchief – thoughtful but practical – handed you a linen napkin as it was the thing he could grab the fastest.
    When I excitedly asked “What was she like? What did she say?”
    He said “She grabbed my arm & thanked me, very nice…she’s a lot shorter in person”

    Knowing I had been a fan & movie buff since childhood he kept it for me along with one of the programs.

    Somewhere along the line I let it go but for nearly twenty years I had your lipstick stained napkin & program & while still collecting memorabilia they were highest on my list of movie treasures.

    As with so many “things” we hang onto in life it was not so much the actual objects but the memory of the father who had given me more than a couple of beatings as a kid blaming my attention to my movie obsession for my inattention to school work taking the time to save that little treasure for me then near my mid twenties. Not at all in character for him – at least not before.

    It gave me a special connection to that film & since reading your memoirs – Twice + More than one listening of the great audio book that I love most during the O.G.P. remembrance – (How I so love your imitation of Ms. Hepburn during your 1st meeting & in the bushes cheering you on during your big scene with your dad)

    I’ve always thought of you & my father both with love & smile whenever I view that film…for the thirty or fortieth time. I always will.

    I wish everyone would take the time to read your book[s] with an open mind & heart.

    You moved from a childhood that could have led to a life of passive waste & uselessness & lived the way I believe we were made to, as a constantly evolving spirit with the ability to move ever upward with our minds, body & spirit.

    I thank you for this blog.

    My God continue to bless you & yours always.

    JT

  23. I always like looking at self improvement books to see, if I can learn something new on how to improve my life. In one I read about a woman explaining how she dealt with days when she was feeling sad or sorry for herself.

    She started playing the “grateful game”. She would start when she’d get up in the morning thinking of everything positive she was grateful for…even the small things….such as, being grateful to be able to sit up and get out of bed in the morning, being able to see nature outside her house, eating good food, laughing, being with friends and family, etc. It’s amazing how good you start feeling, if you continue doing this all day! There’s no room for the doldrums!

    Each day is a gift! There’s no guarantee we’ll be here tomorrow, or next week, or next year, if you’re 15, or 20 years old, or 80 years old. Find something in each day to appreciate and be grateful for. It takes more effort to do this on some days, but just keep pushing yourself forward in a positive way being grateful for the many good things in your life! 🙂

  24. I can see how you’d be melancholy leaving that gorgeous ranch. The leaves, the trees, the streams, the animals visiting, etc. Back to the East Coast.

  25. What a beautiful picture Jane! I think it will be my new wallpaper. We generated Autumn melancholy ( “saudade” as they say in Brazil) to all, regardless of age. In my country has just entered the spring that creates a feeling of excitement. The days are noticeably longer made. xx from Uruguay

  26. Dear Jane:

    You need to run for office! We need more women in public office with your ability and integrity. America needs high level frequency and possibility thinkers, such as you.
    Thank you for posting sharing your beautiful fall colors at your ranch. Have a safe trip back to Georgia and enjoy your daughter’s special day.

    Peace be with you,
    Jacqueline G. Logan

  27. Jane, here is a transition for you. This is Kent State level news. Where is the mainstream media??!! People better stand up quick before we reach the other side of this transition.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJxEmUl8Qh4

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZT3O5m0EIs

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZNvCZBWROs

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PedTfrubGRA

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pE7UUvx-52A

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPeXRozN6vQ

    Too many videos to post.

  28. Hi Jane,

    I’m from Australia. Just stumbled upon your blog thru wordpress.

    Recently the United Nations declared October 2nd as International Non-Violence Day, which is Mahatma Gandhi’s birthday.

    Seeing you’re fighting for violence against women, this non-violence day is very fitting and should be celebrated so as to take the first step.

    Cheers,
    Rishi

  29. Dear Jane, I hope your daughter has a great birthday and hope no damage was done due to the flooding in Georgia. Aren’t daughters fun? I enjoy mine so much I can not imagine my life without her.She lives in FL. and I am in Vegas.My grandson tells me when I have not been there in awhile Grandma I am just running out of patience waiting for you to get here.I hope you have a great Monday in Georgia.Also the movie On Golden Pond was a great movie and I am sure that it was a great time with your dad.Have a safe trip.

  30. hello Jane , Counting the Falls , sounds so much like a poem. the passing of time and the rewards of life and the telling of our stories, so much a poem , at times in works or words. We all can be set to a physiognomy of nature by the perversity chance and be a pests of society or its voice for change. The pagn of regret on this pendulum of desolation just a passivity of mind to opinion of lifes perils and fortunes with some lassitude.In this oecan of obscurity one can find the onrush of life and the openness of mind to be opulence in detail with a object of contempt.If there is any limit of conscience or legacy of thought and liverty to find the light of experieces and the limity of our endurance. It is our intensity of faith and not to live under the intoxication of immmortality or vanity but of ideas.

  31. The autumn equinox has come. The sun at balance with the earth. I think we all need balance. Autumn gets such a bad rap in our society. Jewish people celebrate this time as rebirth and new year (5770) and we see it as death. Muslims prepare for this time by reading the entire Q’ran.

    PS
    I’m a libra too. We tend “get” this time of the year.

  32. I’ve known several people who have a hard time transitioning into the fall. Having lived in the Southeast all of my life, I long for the cool days and colors of fall. It invigorates me. Yet I understand your difficulty with it. Maybe your remembrances of “On Golden Pond” and your last memories of your Dad in that film add to the melancholy. It was a wonderful film! Loved the story, the loons, the light, the woods – New England. Perhaps in time your melancholy will change to joyful, beautiful memories and fall will take on a new joyful feeling. That is my hope for you.

  33. I resonate with this blogpost Jane! I live in Canada, in north Ontario; up north in the land of vast forestry, lakes, ponds and wildlife! The trees are turning rather quickly this year it seems; and I’m beginning to wonder if summer go faster as we age? I just turned 53 in August and cannot believe summer is over already!! Had to turn the heat on a few times the past 2 weeks too. Was wondering if you grew Marigolds around your vegetable garden? They help keep white moths from laying larvae on your leavy plants; they hate the smell! I planted them all over between vegetable plants and it works like a charm; it also attracts various pollinators like bees.(which seem to be dwindling in numbers drasticly)

    Happy Birthday to your daughter… enjoy this marvelous fall season.. you definately have 30 more!! ; )

    as a fan of your work,
    much love from:
    Donna
    @ddsnorth on twitter

  34. Melancholy – like long shadows at dusk – can be a kind of consolation.

  35. I live in Iowa…

    It was about 75 yesterday and around 55 today…

  36. I read so many beautiful coms,very poetics ones, that I feel ashame,anyway the falling is very moving and melancolic,love the film on the pond,might be ,a hard time speaking about your father,struggling against tears,anyway, very nice photo!! one dream seing you again in a movie,and hum, what a shame, seing your photo,making a response com ,I know, I ask toou much, but I did try with the bests intentions, so ,I ‘m a little bit having your pardon? no ? Frederique DHENEIN

  37. I have been a bit flat lately, lacking a bit of confidence etc. We are just entering Spring in this part of the world, though it still feels strangely like winter. Your optimism about facing so many more Autumns was just the tonic that I needed. Love your book and the fact that you signed it for me which I have mentioned before, but also all the great stuff that you put on this blog.

  38. Ms Fonda-I just finished “My Life So Far”. What a wonderful book and you are truly an amazing woman. I connected to this book in so many ways, from body issues, to trying to conform to what others want you to be. As the mom of 2 young boys, I also appreciated the sections of your book dealing with the way boys are raised in this country. I am so tired of people trying to “man-up” their young boys. It is really quite sad. I just wanted to drop you a note to let you know how much your book meant to me. As women we should all remember to always be true to ourselves and follow our inner voices. Our selves, our families, and our communities will all be better off for it!

  39. Well jane…you are doing fine…and nothing real to worry about, or feel blue about. Having followed your life off an on most of mine, and crossed paths a few times by happenstance, particularly in the last few years, your books and the conferences and the Premiere, the play, the blog etc., I think I understand quite a bit about you by now. You lead a heck of a charmed life and have many friends and family to love you — and you optimize every minute of your time, often obsessive over the details of it…each phase of it…but rather than keep writing it all out ahead of time, just do as the Buddha did: pick up a handful of those fall leaves and consider how they are the important ones.

  40. Jane,

    I remember so well all the good work you’ve done with G-CAPP and glad to hear that you continue to do so. I used to be managing editor of Peachtree Magazine (before it was bought by Atlanta Mag) and have covered many of your activities in Atlanta.

    Just found your blog and am enjoying. Have a great week.

    Jane G.

  41. Dear Jane,

    Your involvement with all the people on this list is so personal and real, it adds to a wonderful life for all concerned. Thank you for allowing all this contact, it is meaningful to so many, including me/

    XXXXXElaine Pilshaw

  42. Hello Jane. I was wondering if you had received my email about the Fondacarro family? anyway, I am a huge fan. Glad to see you are doing fine.

  43. Hi!

  44. Summer did go by very quickly.

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