The sofa in my dressing room I sleep on at dinner break with the Gees Bend quilt on it.

My dressing table

A very 60s beaded necklace that Catherine Keener gave me when we did “Peace, Love and Misunderstanding” this Summer. It hangs on my mirror and brings me luck.

This is a rock from Africa that Eve Ensler gave me before the NY opening. It breaks open and inside the crystal and mica glows. She saw it as a metaphor for an artist being broken open by the creative work. This is a good thing. I see it that way too and so I have it on my dresser–a reminder to stay hungry and a reminder of dearest Eve who at this moment is about to open City of Joy in Eastern Congo where raped and traumatized women can come to heal and learn skills.

See you then. X

James Gandolfini (photo: Michael Rudd)

Andrea Martin, Me and Debra Monk (photo: Michael Rudd)

Sandy Duncan (photo: Michael Rudd)

So here I am, in my dressing room waiting for the audience to come in so I can use my opera glasses to try and see who’s sitting where.

Neil Simon. OMG. You must know this, but just in case-he’s the great playwright who wrote “Barefoot in the Park” and “California Suite” both of which I was in. I am a huge fan of Tim Robbins and Anna Deavere Smith.

Neil Simon (photo: Michael Rudd)

Tim Robbins (photo: Michael Rudd)

Anna Deavere Smith (photo: Michael Rudd)

I got a beautiful vase of flowers tonight from Patti LuPone. Wow!! I don’t even know her personally. She is a power of a talent and I feel very honored by this generous gesture.

Carole Mitchell is here too. Carole and her husband, Tommy, help look after my place in atlanta and my office and my daughter’s house and on and on. We’ve been together almost 10 years.

Carole Mitchell (photo: Michael Rudd)

Time to go. I’ll write more at intermission to say how it’s going.

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None of us feel the show is going well and we can’t quite say why. At least I haven’t forgotten any lines–yet–there are five scenes to go. I have to go.

No partying tonight. Tomorrow is a two-show day. Our last two-show days. After tomorrow we do our final show.

Sam Waterston (photo: Michael Rudd)

Bernadette Peters (photo: Michael Rudd)

Barry and Carole Hirsch (photo: Michael Rudd)

Marisa Berenson (photo: Michael Rudd)

See you next time.

Now, half hour was just announced for our 3pm show and I am sitting alone in the room and feeling sad. In fact, if it would not ruin my makeup and put me in the wrong frame of mind to start the show I would let myself go and cry. I can hear Diane practicing–warming up–with various variations and I realize that from now on, when I listen to her CD I will cry. Every variation is so bound up with the emotions of the play.

Moises’s new play opens tonight in L.A. I have sent him flowers. He’s coming here Tuesday for the last four shows–or so I’m told.

It’s intermission and 2 dozen Montreal bagels were just delivered to me–a gift from Debbie Giser!!!! Some are poppy seeds, some are sesame seeds. Yum!!!! Thank you Debbie.

Marlo Thomas is in the audience today. I look forward to seeing her. It will be hectic backstage tonight cause I have to get my hair fixed and change makeup and then walk the red carpet for the Drama Desk Awards evening. I am presenting the award to the best featured actor.

Right now it’s during my long break between scenes. I have to say this has been a wierd performance. From the beginning. Can’t explain it. I feel wired, aggressive. I’ve been more hostile with clara, my daughter in the play, than I usually am. Top of the second act I got words all mixed up. Sentences reversed.

Pat, one of the stage managers, heard me say I felt strange and she said the whole crew was acting wierd, on edge. “This always happens when you get close to the end of the play. Separation anxiety,”
Pat said.

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Marlo Thomas did not come backstage so, naturally, I assume she didn’t like the play or my performance and didn’t want to be embarassed. There have been time when I have seen a show and not gone back stage unless I’d been specifically asked. Now I know never to do that again because it causes paranoia.

But Debi Karolewski came back. Debi was my assistant for many years when I lived in California and had a production company. The job only ended because I married Ted and moved to Atlanta. She has remained in touch and close to the whole family.

Debi Karolewski (photo: Michael Rudd)

See you next time

After the show, my in-laws (Can anyone tell me the correct title for parents of your child’s wife or husband?) came back. Dee had seen it three times ands this was Boswell’s 2nd and he thought it was much better. He enjoyed looking through the opera glasses—they were seated from row mezzanine. Dee felt it gave her an even better appreciation of the sets and lighting. I so adore them. While they were there, Reem Acra came back with four friends (three were Lebanese, like her and one was her dance instructor!! Go Reem!!) She remembered meeting Dee when Simone was there for a fitting for her wedding dress. I have to say, Reem is about the nicest woman you could ever meet.

With Simone’s parents, Boswell and Dee Bent (photo: Michael Rudd)

With the wonderful designer Reem Acra (photo: Micheal Rudd)

My first cousin, Mary Shanley, came back with her daughter, Kate, and we all went out to dinner. Mary is one of three daughters of my father’s youngest sister, Jane. We had a good time digging into family roots (and secrets).

Kate and Mary Shanley (photo: Michael Rudd)

There is more I wanted to write about that I learned tonight –about what tends to happen actors as the close of a play draws near–but I must go to sleep. I have to leave for Montreal fairly early tomorrow.

See you next time.

Linda at her station

Melissa Spengler and Linda Marvel

I asked Diane Walsh one day, how she manages to keep her fingers so flexible and strong, because she has so many really challenging, unbelievably rapid trills to execute. She said, “It’s not about the fingers. It’s about the back and shoulders, that’s where the strength comes from.” I like to watch her play on the monitor when I am waiting back stage to make an entrance and I can really see, now that I am aware, how much she involves her back in her playing-her whole body, in fact.

I wasn’t expecting anyone to come backstage after the show tonight but, to my surprise and pleasure, Jessica Andrews, the woman who was at the event in Phoenix who first told me she’d seen the play and found it very powerful was here. She said, “I was right when I said this is a part made for you.”

With Jessica L. Andrews, the executive director of the Arizona Theatre Company (photo: Michael Rudd)

My dear friend for more than 2 decades, Barbara Pyle, also came back stage. She worked with Ted in the early 1990s to create the environmental TV series, “Captain Planet,” that is now appearing on MNN-Mother Nature Network. She remains a hard working, very knowledgeable environmentalist who has been through a lot of physical challenges. She’s proof of the saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

See you next time.

The ego part is less clear. Perhaps that will remain so, I don’t know. Is it ego or is it becoming more self conscious? We tend to think of the term ‘self-conscious’ as meaning something bad-as being awkward or uncomfortable with oneself. But the way I am using it, it means something rather different-a consciousness of self, how our presence impacts people, how much of who we are do we actually own. I spent most of my life lacking self consciousness. This is something Katharine Hepburn criticized me for-she, the ultimate example of self-consciousness. As I age, I think a lot about this and am aware that my becoming more self conscious also means I am taking more control over my life-what there is left of it. (And realizing all the while, that the notion of us having control is so relative it’s laughable).

All this to say that the blog makes me more self conscious, more aware of the different aspects of my life, what matters and what doesn’t; what might matter to someone else  and what might not. So—I am going to continue to blog. Maybe not every day. Maybe just when there’s something going on, internally or externally, that might be of use or interest. For instance, I leave this play (and New York) the morning of May 22nd. I leave for the Galapagos Islands with a boat load of friends and family for 8 days. I was just told that I will be able to blog from there!! When Ted and I split up, I made a list of things I wanted to do before I die that I could perhaps turn into fundraisers for the Georgia Campaign for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention. In 2000, about a dozen rich and fit friends trekked with me to Machu Pichu. This Galapagos trip is also a fundraiser and there will much to report back on and photograph. My blogging support system composed of James Andrews and J.J. make it so easy and fun.

So, between now and the fall, I will be working on my book and then, God willing and the creek don’t rise, I am going to do a movie. Because it is not 100% certain I am not allowed to say what it is or who with, but if it happens, it will be rich soil for interesting blogging. After that, I will again do an eight-day silent Buddhist meditation retreat in Santa Fe and then, hopefully, another movie. Not a bad year for an old gal. I feel lucky. But, as I have said before, luck is preparation meeting opportunity.

My main concern is how blogging will impact my book writing. I have less than a year to finish my book about aging, “The Third Act: Entering Prime Time.” My editor wants to bring it out in September or November 2010 and, as I am a slow book writer (as opposed to blog writer which I do very quickly), I have my work cut out for me. I decided last night, by the way, to make an exercise program(s) for people in their third acts to come out at the same time. I’m excited at the prospect of getting back into the fitness arena.

Got to leave now for the theatre. Eva Mendes is coming this afternoon along with a group of young women from my high school alma mater, Emma Willard, who are being escorted by the wonderful school principal, Trudy Hall. Among the girls will be three “Fonda Scholars.” I am so looking forward to performing for them.

With Eva Mendes (photo: Michael Rudd)

Alan and Marilyn Bergman-the world famous composers and lyricists, few things could make me as happy as seeing how profoundly they were moved by the play. I have gotten to know Eva Mendes because she is my daughter-in-law’s best friend.

With Marilyn and Alan Bergman (photo: Michael Rudd)

Three Fonda scholar students from Emma Willard (photo: Michael Rudd)

I misunderstood and thought there were going to be young women from Emma Willard. Turns out there were the 3 Fonda scholars (2 juniors and a freshman) and the others were in the vicinity of my class–give or take.

Me and the whole Emma Willard gang (photo: Micheal Rudd)

Anna Mantero ’10 Jane Fonda Scholar

Annie Hudson ’10 Jane Fonda Scholar

Denise Meza ’12 Jane Fonda Scholar

See you next time.

Today, I slept till noon!!!! This is an event for me. I don’t have to leave here till 3:15 so I have time, finally, to answer the question that some blog commentors have asked: What is my daily routine at the theatre. I don’t imagine this is something that interests too many people but I will enjoy answering it—because it necessitates my pondering it and because, in about 3 weeks it will all be over.

On Wednesdays and Saturdays, our two-show days, I arrive at the theater at noon. This gives me time to put food in my little fridge, nip off dead flowers, add water to the vases, hook up my computer (I don’t bring it every day but always on matinee days when there risks being more chance to write. If I don’t bring it, then I write on my Blackberry which is a pain because the reception isn’t good and to send and receive I have to put the Blackberry up against the window for several minutes).

By now, its 12:30, I have 15 minutes to put on my base makeup before Heather comes to wrap my head and put on wig #1. This always happens one hour and 15 minutes before the show starts because after me she has the men’s wigs to put on. Because the side wig lace is glued to my face at the hair line, the makeup, at least in that area, must be on and powdered before she cam do the gluing.

Lori will have arrived before Heather to start getting my costumes steamed and hung in place. It is she who prepares me a cup of decaf espresso made with the Wall-e coffee machine. These two women, Heather and Lori, are the faces I spend the most time looking into during the course of the play. Lori is 34 years old and besides being a dresser for theatre and TV, she has a holistic health counseling service She is tiny, quick, and usually smiling. She has, in her young life, lost a considerable amount of weight and has learned a great deal about maintaining health, what to eat, what to take for a variety of symptoms. The uneducated would call her a “health nut.” She has a boyfriend who, judging by his thoughtful birthday gift of 3 days ago and the way she speaks of him, must be very nice to her. She always wears jeans and a utility “belt” around her waist in which she carries various wardrobe items like pins, thread, cloth brushes, tissues and, for me, a bottle of grape-flavored Propel which she offers me any moment she sees me standing and waiting for my cue to go on. It is Lori who tells me “This is the break when you can use the bathroom” or “No bathroom this time.” I cannot tell you how important this is because on several occasions, I have found myself on the john hearing my cue about to be called. She also tells me as I enter the changing area what it is I need to change cause sometimes forget and start to take everything off when, in fact, it’s only the shoes that need changing. A few times, I’ve exited a scene and headed in the wrong direction. It’s Lori who is always there to steer me right. She walks with me to my starting position before an entrance and, with her little flashlight attached to her utility belt, she will examine to be sure all the props and things are in the right place and the gear shift on the electric wheelchair is set at the right speed. Lori traveled the world for five years in the Disney On Ice tour—a great way to see places she would never otherwise have had a chance to visit.

Lori Elwell, my dresser on the show (photo: Michael Rudd)

Heather is maybe 45 with beautiful, dark wavy hair and a ready smile. She is very well educated, grew up doing a variety of theatre-related jobs from acting, to singing and now wigs. Before that, she did marketing for Epic Records. Once she has me in my first wig, she leaves to do the others and then I meet up with her again backstage between my various scenes where she waits for me to change costumes and then tidies up the wig, sometimes back-combing the side so it won’t fall over my face. At the top of the second act, I change into the top I wear for my entrance  and then Heather removes wig #1, I repair the makeup from where the glue remover has taken it off, put more blush on and, when that’s all done, she puts wig #2 on. This wig is dramatically different than the first. Moises and I decided that by this time in the play, I have had to cut my hair because it is becoming increasingly difficult for me to wash and style it. So the second wig is very short, shorter than my own real-life hair cut and not as stylish. Both wigs are amazingly well made and real looking and feeling. Both made by Martial Corneville.

Heather Wright, my hair person on the show (photo: Michael Rudd)

Both Heather Lori have worked very large, demanding musical shows with dozens of performers to deal with, steeply raked stages and many difficult, fast changes. This show is a breeze compared to others they’ve done. They’ve both also commented on how nice everyone on our show is. We all get along well, no sourpusses in the lot. Heather is married to an actor, Dared Wright (she calls him her “Mister Right”) who, for years, worked as James Gandolfini’s understudy and has had roles in many TV shows and films. It is abundantly clear that this is a very happy marriage. Both Lori and Heather are easy going, pleasant to be around and make what might otherwise be stressful, very easy. I am grateful for them.

An hour before the show starts, Michael Rudd arrives. Michael is 18 years old, though he seems older because of his emotional maturity. He works at the company that manages our show (and many others)-Production 101. But after work, he comes and stays with Tulea while I am on stage. Okay yes, I may be spoiling Tulea. But she is a dog that is really sad to be left alone. She is very social, loves people and loves to be loved. When she was left alone at the beginning of our run, she came out on stage at the curtain call. She adores Michael. If I wasn’t so secure, I’d be jealous, because as soon as she hears his voice, she gets out of her bed and goes to greet him, tail wagging and (I kid you not) a grin on her face. Yes, the corners of her mouth turn up. She only does this for those she truly loves. Oftentimes, along with the grin, she will make a certain sneeze….a “gee I’m glad to see you” sneeze. Let me know if any of you have a dog that does this. Michael, by the way, is the kid who played my assistant in our recent Broadway Cares skit. You can see him in many of yesterday’s photos in white jeans and a neck scarf-usually carrying Tulea.

At 50 minutes before curtain time, the stage manager, Linda Marvel, calls over the intercom that it is time for the voluntary “Septet” rehearsal. Septet is the final scene in Act One where we all come on stage-past and present-living and dead-and speak, sometimes simultaneously, sometime mimicking each others words. It is an interesting and dramatic conceit. Tulea knows this is the time for her to join the other cast members on stage and the moment she hears the announcement she trots right along with me to the stage where Don Amendolia scoops her up into his arms. That’s the routine. Once we are all present we run the lines with the necessary pace and volume, just to get the feel of it back into our bones. We have just enough time to quickly touch base with each other, do a quick catchup since yesterday, wave at the ushers who have assembled because as soon as we leave the stage, the doors open to the audience. That means we have one half hour left before show time.

I take Tulea from Don and finish getting ready although I am usually done and use the remaining time to finish the newspaper, answer emails or start my daily blog.

I have mentioned in a previous email our actors’ backstage routines-what we say to each other at points along the way– so I won’t repeat those. During matinee days, Heather takes off the wig but leaves the head-wrapping in, I take off the costume, turn off all the lights, hang a Do Not Disturb sign that Lori made for me on the door, put in my ear plugs and then Tulea and I lie down on my couch to sleep for anywhere from one to one and a half hours before Lori wakes us up and we do the whole routine all over again. I cannot imagine doing this without taking that time to sleep in between. What that does is it “wipes the slate clean.” It’s like starting a whole new day instead of having the previous performance still on my skin. Because we don’t need to do the head wrap again, I have an extra 15 minutes to eat a little something, have another decaf expresso that Lori makes and maybe finish my blog or twitter.

At the end of the final show, Heather takes my wig and the wrapping off, I take off the costume, get dressed and receive visitors. Usually I have been told in advance who is coming and their names are left at the stage door. That is when the pictures are taken that you have been seeing on my blog.

Because my hair has been under a wig, it is always a mess, so I have a variety of caps and hats that I use to cover it all up. I was amazed the other night how Tovah Feldshuh managed to get her hair looking so glam right after her wig came off. Must ask her about that.

Anyway, I have used up all the time I had to write this. Now I have to decide what I will wear to walk the red carpet tonight for the opening of “9 To 5″. I’m being picked up in 15 minutes to go to get my hair blow dried and styled at the Roy Teeluck salon, then to our theater to get my stage makeup on (I do my own makeup), then the red carpet till 6:30. I won’t have time to do it over for my show so that how I’ve decided to make it all work. I tell you, you gotta have a smidge of executive skills in this business-to get it all working smoothly.

I will probably write more later.

The red carpet was fun-that is, it was fun to be with Lily and Dolly (who looked fabulous). The scene was a mad house and I was a little nervous about straining my voice for my own show. I was glad to have my own to come back to. Otherwise, I might have been a little depressed. The whole “9 to 5: The Musical” is a complicated issue for me but I love the show, wish them well and feel certain it will be a smash.

Me, Dolly Parton and Lily Tomlin (photo: Bruce Glikas)

Now, in five minutes, I go on stage as Dr. Katherine Brandt, who I love and admire, and I will try to give it my all.

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Gene Saks who directed me in the film “Barefoot in the Park” saw the show and came back stage. He said, “It’s amazing, you have come so far.” I agreed. I understood what he meant–as an actor, in terms of range and depth. It felt good coming from him.

With Gene Saks (photo: Michael Rudd)

See you next time.

Friends from Atlanta (photo: Melissa Spengler)

Jerry Stiller, (Jerry Seinfeld’s father in “Seinfeld”), Anne Meara Stiller (also an actor in numerous series including “Sex in the City” as Cynthia Nixon’s mother-in-law) and their daughter, Amy, all saw the show and loved it. I told them the last time I saw Ben Stiller he was pushing a baby carriage up a steep hill in Hollywood. They told me he and his wife now have two children.

Anne Meara, Jerry Stiller and daughter Amy (photo: Melissa Spengler)

In addition, we sold six photo opportunities with me for $400 to people from Wisconsin, Mexico, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Texas. We are close, I believe, to breaking fundraising records for a small dramatic play-we may even beat some large musicals if we do well in the next two shows. The effort ends Tuesday with the Easter Bonnet extravaganza-skits and bonnets produced by different casts who compete for prizes along with the prize for who raises most money. I am a co-presenter along with being in our very funny skit. Tulea makes an appearance in the skit and just came back from the groomer all glammed up in preparation.

Mary Cooper Janis saw the show again today and brought her step-son, Stephan. She and her husband, the great classical pianist Byron Janis, saw the play opening night. She thinks it has gotten better since then.

Maria Cooper Janis (photo: Melissa Spengler)

See you next time.   

Alan Alda and his wife Arlene (photo: Michael Rudd)

Alan Alda is in the audience tonight with his wife Arlene. I will be very happy to see them after the show. I got to know him when we did Neil Simon’s “California Suite” together. I have his book, “Things I Overheard While Talking To Myself” by my bedside. But I haven’t been able to read anything while doing this play. This is not what I expected. Can’t write either. Nor have I been able to go to any museums though I really wanted to and got such great suggestions from my blogger friends. But Eve Ensler was right when she told me at the start that I wouldn’t be able to do anything else. Especially since I’ve been sick–I’ve had to cancel many plans.

One blog commenter asked me the other day to write about what I do from the time I arrive at the theatre–my daily routine. So I will do that tomorrow.

Alan and Arlene just left my dressing room. As I thought would be the case, they loved the play, totally got it and were very moved and inspired by it. Alan said that he, too, was unable to do anything else when he was in a play. “I was always worried about my voice,” he said. I asked if he’d been to the same voice/throat doctor that I have been seeing and he, “oh yes, I couldn’t get her out of my throat.” Turns out he also has the pornographic larynx print outs like mine.

See you next time.