DREAMING ABOUT THE PLAY

I have been dreaming about the play all along, since the beginning, going through scenes, coming up with ideas. Nothing huge, just little ideas. Many times I will wake up and have forgotten what I dreamed but here are two examples when I remembered and acted upon my dream: In the first scene, Colin Hanks says something that makes me laugh and then I realize my laughing is inappropriate so I stop. Sometimes this gets a laugh, sometimes not. I dreamed that I should laugh and catch the eye of Samantha who plays my daughter and it is because of her that I stop laughing. It’s a little note that I think Moise gave me way back in the beginning but I’d forgotten. I have been doing that for the last week and it works better, gets more regular laughs.

Last night I dreamed that in a scene with Gertie, the woman in charge of Beethoven’s archives, where we meet up in a train station, I should have files with me. I am coming from work. So tonight, I asked props to give me some files and I brought them with me and it felt better. I felt more grounded. It Makes no difference for anyone but me but still…Will this never end, this tweeking? I bet not. I hope not. I am fascinated that the play still holds new things for me, for my character. Frankly, I didn’t expect this. I felt sure that once things were “locked in” that would be that.

I did something else tonight that I hadn’t done-at least not consciously: I played that my neck was losing its ability to firmly hold my head up. Someone wrote me yesterday who saw the play on Sunday saying they had a family member who had ALS and they commented how much they had related to the weakness in my neck and my head flopping around. I hadn’t even been conscious of doing this– so now I am doing it more consciously.

Moises came back from his vacation and being in L.A. casting a new play, He says he’ll see the play again tomorrow night (Wed) so maybe he will tell me not to do this head thing. I am curious if he feels we’ve strayed at all from his original direction. There’s no question that there are things that have changed. Is it a deepening of our understanding of our characters or–??? What???  We’ll find out.

Okay, I will have to fess up: I have felt abandoned by our director. Probably it’s that I am jealous that he’s gone on to new projects while we’re still here. How can he bear to be away from us? That’s how I really feel. It was so hard when he told us that he was weaning us…that he was going away. I so missed his regular input. I wanted every night to hear from him how he thought the show went. I know this is rather irrational. But I’m learning this is how it goes. So different from movies where it’s you, the actor, who leaves, leaving behind the director with her/his editor for maybe a year more, to turn the work we did together into a finished film. Here, in theatre, it’s the opposite. One more new thing to learn to adjust to. Moises won’t even be here, I just learned, for the night of carousing the cast is planning in April. The crew has told me, like they are talking to a baby, “Jane, you must understand. Most directors never come back at all.” REALLY!!!

On that note, I will see you nxt time.

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18 Comments

  1. To have the Director of the play missing, must be like the father leaving the family. I would feel the same as you. Dreams are so unteresting, why is it we remember some and not others?

  2. Ms. Fonda……I have written you several times before…..I cannot think that your instincts would ever be wrong…..you are the consummate actor…..go with your feelings….I have never seen you turn in a less than a perfect perfromance!
    And I still consider you a national treasure!
    Please keep up your great work!
    A huge fan!
    James Adams
    Pelham, GA

  3. Hi Jane,

    I think I would feel a little abandoned by the director. I understand he has more plays to write and ideas to follow, but I know it would give me a sense of abandonment.

    I am not in your industry, so I really didn’t know that was the norm?? Has it always been like this, even when your father was on broadway?

    I know I would be craving that feedback and wondering how each performance benchmarked against the previous one. What an addictive cycle!

    Take care.

  4. Jane, this is fascinating to me, about tweeking and making things better in the play. I’ve often wondered about that, but figured after the play was frozen, that was it. Of course these are not scene or dialogue changes. But you do get to know the character better.

    I would feel just like you do, about Moises being gone. I’m sure you formed a deep friendship with him during this period as well. Do you remember if it was that way when you started out on the stage in the beginning?

    Bill

  5. Jane,
    Your blog is so interesting.
    Love hearing about how the play is going and different ideas you come up with.

    I loved it when you were wondering how Redford was enjoying the music while you are in the middle of the play. LOL

    Hope you blog after the play has ended.

  6. Your blog is fascinating to me. I love reading all your thoughts about your stage experience, all your discoveries and surprises. Also, learning of your friends that visit back stage and sometimes even seeing photo is delicious. The fact that you dream of the play and actually make changes in your performance is very interesting. I know you must wish you could ask your Dad if he had similar experiences. I wonder if he dreamed during his performances on the stage. Just fascinating Jane. I think I would enjoy reading your grocery list.

  7. re 3/24 blog: Perhaps it’s like having gone through the birthing process with a valued and trusted coach, who, after helping to deliver your child, is no longer there for you…but the child is there and you now take on the challenge of this new experience, feeling very much alone and in many ways unprepared (though intellectually you know you are not so isolated and have talents of your own to share). I think it’s good and right to mourn the loss of your coach for a time as you acknowledge feelings of loss and sadness and also honor the experience you’ve shared…and then of course you go on because the child needs you and you need to continue along your path, and to grow…..

  8. My dear Miss Jane,

    May I be so bold as to note that you write much as I do – which in my case means that I write (and verbalize) exactly what I am thinking. Sometimes not such a good thing, but overall, pro outweighs con here. Our dreams are our subconscious and therefore, I do not find it odd that you dream these “nuances” that might bring more to your role and to the play as a whole. As an actor, it is your job to be natural, realistic and bring in each member of your audience so that they feel they are in the room with you, a part of the scene. You know this better than moi, for I have spent my life being a “wannabe” – singing to the choir, right?. . . but I believe I understand the source of this aspect of your dreams. My mother-in-law broke her shoulder and I spent 48 hours in a hospital with her initially. Upon returning home for a good night’s sleep, I dreamed of doctors and hospitals and I was the patient. I dream vividly; I have done so all of my life, and I remember them. Odd that they make sense when I am asleep, but try telling it to someone and it seems preposterously warped. I trust that your dreams are a gift to your craft, and if I were you, I would continue to trust those instincts. They have served you well for a long time.

    My feelings on the “abandonment” that you feel by your director are that it comes with the territory. When one is used to doing a film and the director MUST be there for every scene and every discussion, I have to say that I never realized that the director flew the coup when the play was on its feet and running. It’s like a parent sending their child off to fend for himself. I learned something; I did not realize that the director extricated himself once he set the play on it own legs.

    May I tell you a funny story that just popped into my mind? My daughter dated a young man whose father’s father was a very wealthy businessman in our community. I would say he was a “mizer” without hesitation. One day, the grandfather put the father, who was but a young boy, on top of the refrigerator and told him, “jump, I’ll catch you!” The young boy hesitated, and the grandfather said again, “come on, don’t be afraid, jump! I promise, I’ll catch you!” After a bit of this, the boy was convinced that his father would catch him and so he jumped. His father did not catch him, but allowed him to fall completely to the floor, which made the boy cry. The grandfather then leaned over the boy and told him, “let that be a lesson to you; never trust anybody!”

    What do you make of this story as it relates to your director, or is there any correlation at all?

    I am so happy that you are having such fun with the play and wish that I could come to see you. Continued good wishes and please feel free to visit me any time.

    PEACE,
    Abbey

  9. P.S. Miss Jane, I have a comment regarding an earlier post, “God’s Mercy”. Kyrie Elyeison is a part of the Roman Catholic Mass. It goes and you may be doing this in the play, “Kyrie Elyeison, Christi Elyeison, Kyrie Eleison” – we sing this version in the Mass during the Advent season. It is sung, or repeated, in English the rest of the year – “Lord have Mercy, Christ have Mercy, Lord have Mercy”. It is extremely beautiful, as is the entire Catholic Mass. While you’re in New York, you should take the opportunity to attend a full Catholic Mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral. I can only dream of the holiness and the feeling of participating in Mass at the Cathedral. It is something I would never pass up. I pray that I will be able to check this from my “bucket list” one day soon! Cheers!

  10. Jane,

    I suppose on some level I already knew this, but until you mentioned it, it hadn’t occurred to me that a theatre director wouldn’t stay for the entire run of the show. I guess Moises has given you the direction he thought fit, shared his artistic vision, and now it’s up to you, your fellow cast members, and the crew to keep 33 Variations going. The idea of leaving is so very different from the way film directors handle their projects; they never leave their babies behind for their cast and crew to run with. No wonder you feel abandoned.

    But, I gather that he trusts all of you and he probably realizes that with each passing day, you do connect on a deeper level with your characters, which as you know better than I, is very different from filming a scene for a movie.

    Do you think you’ll do another theatre production after 33 Variations is over? I mean, even if it’s not right away, would you be interested in gracing the stage with you presence again? I’m sure I’m not in this alone when I say that your fans would like to see you on Broadway more often.

    All my best,
    Amanda

  11. Ms. Fonda, I saw your play on St. Patrick’s night and loved it. It was such a rush when you came on stage. I grew up admiring you from Cat Ballou to Corie Bratter right up to Georgia Rules. You’ve long been one of my favorite actresses and fascinating people to follow.

    I was so relieved when you came out of retirement. Loved your book. But, to see you act in person in New York on St. Patrick’s night with another favorite actress of mine in the audience (Susan St. James) well, I was in heaven.

    I’m a new playwright. My first play goes up on May 6th at the 15th Annual 15-Minute Play Festival on W. 46th. Just got the cast (only 2 characters) and my director… and wow, I’m in for the ride of my life. Can’t wait.

    Keep acting, Ms. Fonda, and enjoying life — you’ve inspired more women than you’ll ever know. Shama, Shama!

  12. I just got my ticket for the final performance.
    I feel like Charlie in the Culture Factory!

  13. Jane!
    I read your blog everyday and today decided to google the play and read up on it. Its VERY interesting. I saw pictures from some scenes and you all look amazing. I hope to come out and see such a fantastic piece.

  14. I used to learn my lines in my sleep, if I read or practised them just before bed I would run them over and over oin my dreams also song I learn the same way, do youi do that too jane? Regards Leonie

  15. I could feel that “pit in your stomach” queasiness that the feeling of abandonment evokes as I read your description about Moises heading off to his next project. It’s like having a lover leave you – instead of the other way around. The creative process/environment seems to exist at such a deep level that emotions can’t help but be overly-sensitive. Yes, plays are different animals than films, as you said. You’re with a great cast and a great group of people. Hey – love the one(s) you’re with!

  16. hi jane,

    it DOES seem anomalous for the director to leave after opening, doesn’t it!

    my partner is a theater director, so we are always on the road, staying in a town for 5 or 6 weeks while he works the show. then after opening, we leave!

    i always feel bad for the actors, but he says that after the final preview, it is THEIR show. (he does get daily updates from the stage manager throughout the run!)

    we haven’t seen “variations” yet, but will be seeing it when we get back into town in a couple of weeks. it’ll be kinda cool to see it after already being so involved with it via your blog!

    enjoy every juicy minute of it!

  17. I was in the audience during this performance, and as just an audience member wanted to kill the perpetrator–so I can only imagine how you as an actor would feel. It’s so disrespectful!

  18. OTOH, it’s wonderful when you hate the director and he/she finally takes leave and lets you fly. I hope you never have that experience. 🙂

    I totally love that you blog, Miss F. It’s spectacular. 🙂

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