ACTING

Jul 16.11

Excerpted from Jane Fonda’s NYTimes #1 Bestseller “My Life So Far”

As I write this I realize that I’ve done a good deal of thinking about acting in the fifteen-year hiatus I have taken, and I’d like to try to give you a sense of what it’s like, at least for me.

In most films there is a scene when the main character is going through a critical transition or defining event. Whether or not the story works often depends on the success of that scene. Sometimes the director will want to shoot it in one long take, with the camera following you as you move from place to place, hitting your marks, all the while making the emotional transitions. This delicate balance between technical and emotional demands is the hallmark of movie acting.

I would usually wake up the morning of the critical scene feeling quesy, with a knot in my belly. I’d arrive at the studio for makeup and hair, and at some point I’d be asked to stop what I was doing and come to the set for rehearsal. Should I give it my all? There is the risk that if I do, I won’t have anything left when the real time comes (as was the case in my big scene in On Golden Pond). On the other hand, the purpose of rehearsal is to discover what my moves will be so that the lights can be set and the camera will know where to follow me; and if I don’t dip fairly deep into the emotional waters during rehearsal, how will I know where I’m apt to go? So I rehearse and pray that I’ve given just enough, but not too much.

Rehearsal now over, I go back to my trailer to finish hair and makeup and then wait while the crew lights the set and practices camera moves with my stand-in. It can be a thirty-minute wait or an hour or, if it’s a complicated setup, three hours. What do do? Do I read a book or get into a conversation that might risk taking me too far away from where my emotions are meant to be? Do I just sit here and think about the scene and risk getting too much into my head? The challenge is knowing myself well enough to calibrate correctly the balance between physical relaxation and emotional alertness that will most benefit me during the one- to three-hour wait. But it’s hard not to feel like a balloon from which air is slowly leaking.

Then the moment comes. The knock on the door: “We’re ready, Miss Fonda.” Truthfully some small part of me (which I would try to ignore) has hoped that the sound stage would catch fire or the director would have a breakdown so that this moment could be postponed—for a year, maybe. But, no, there’s the knock. No going back now. So I step out of my trailer and begin the endless walk to where everyone is waiting, all one hundred people who work on a film on any given day. As I run the gauntlet, the issue of my salary comes to mind. Why didn’t I agree to do the damn thing for free? I know there are people on the set who are just waiting to see if I’m worth all that dough, like that guy over there on the ladder reading the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. I remember being told that shooting on an average Hollywood film costs in the neighborhood of $100,000 a day. If this goes badly, maybe I can offer to deduct it from my salary; otherwise I may never get hired again. Please let me stay relaxed, help me stay in my truth, tell my muse to be with me now. I arrive on the set that just a short while ago during rehearsal was a place of forgiving shadows. Now it’s a pitiless glare of light under which my possible disintegration will be exposed for all to see. Breathe deeply, Jane. Get out of your head and into your body . . . quiet the demon voice that is trying to tell you that today is the day you’ll be exposed as an overpaid fraud.

This is the part of film acting that I was only too happy to leave behind, the part that became more agonizing as time went on. Yet you have to go through those terrifying times if you are ever to have the magic ones, the times when it all works—and to be truthful, those I have missed. There were perhaps only eight or nine of them out of forty-five films, but they were the times when I stepped into my light and my muse was with me, all my channels were open, the creative flow coursed through my body, and I became. Whether the scene was sad or funny, tragic or triumphant, never mattered. When it worked it was like being enveloped in love and light, as I danced the intricate dance between technique and emotion, fully inside the scene while simultaneously a separate part of me observed and enjoyed the unfolding.

Ah. but just because it has happened once doesn’t mean it will again! Each time is starting new, raw; its a crapshoot—you just never know. Which is why this profession is so great for the heart—and so hard on the nerves.

I always assumed that the more you did something the easier it would get, but in the case of my career I found the opposite to be true. Every year the work seemed to get harder and my fear more paralyzing. Once, on the set of Old Gringo, I watched Gregory Peck late in his career doing a long, very difficult scene over and over again all day long. I saw that he too was scared. I went up to him afterward and hugged him and told him how beautiful and transparent he had been.

“But, Greg,” I asked, “why do we do this to ourselves? Especially you. You’ve had a long and incredible career. You could easily retire. Why are you still willing to be scared?”

Greg sat for a moment, rubbing his chin. Then he said, “Well, Jane, maybe it’s like my friend Walter Matthau says. His biggest thrill in life is to be gambling and losing a bit more than he can afford and then have one chance to win it all back. That’s what you life for—that moment. The crapshoot. If it’s easy, what’s the point?


14 Responses to “ACTING”

  1. Jennifer says:
    July 16, 2011 at 10:09 am

    You bio is the best I have ever read. I laughed,cried and have had similar dealings with men and relationships.Got so much out of it. You are one neat lady and ever evolving.:)

  2. Timothy Dougherty says:
    July 16, 2011 at 8:17 pm

    Thanks Jane for sharing that,

    I read something about Brando having lunch with a frined actor during a shoot. The friend tell how the called Brando the set , and said he was sorry and would be right back, Brando went over to the sent and played his scene and was great,came back the table to finish his lunch with the friend as if nothing happened in between. That seems a high make to set. It was interesting to hear about it from you, having written that screen play with you in mind , so I was giving you the lines and was seeing and hearing your as I wrote the part. I was feeling the emotional transitions of person.

    with love and care

  3. A. Gondring says:
    July 16, 2011 at 9:25 pm

    Interesting outlook.

  4. India says:
    July 17, 2011 at 2:52 am

    WOW… I did not know you had a blog until tonight! I’ve been sitting here reading over the past 2 hours. Incredible.This one really hit me because I spend a lot of time reading biographies (or watching them on the Bio channel)because my whole life people have been saying to me “You are going to be a star” and because I’m really smart as well as talented, sometimes I feel that way. However, when I listen to people’s stories, such as yours, I often question if that’s something I even want.

    I love entertaining people and I love helping people and I want the means to be able to do so, but I don’t like American pop culture and the way the media/internet treats celebrities. I’m 26 but my favorite films are from the 30s-70s and I adored people such as yourself, Ingrid Bergman, Julie Christie, Cary Grant, Paul Newman, etc. but even some of them felt what the way you feel in this excerpt. I’ve never been out of the country, so I’m not sure if it’s any different overseas. I share a birthday with Oprah and I’m as strong-minded and I have the sense of humor of Ellen DeGeneres, but I wonder if even that would be enough to still enjoy “the life” if it ever really does happen.

    I’m so glad that people such as yourself can admit that you are still human and you have the same emotions as other people, you just get paid to manipulate yours. Being a human being is tough all by itself, and I can only imagine how difficult it is to endure life under the microscope and judgment of people who don’t even know you. Ms. Fonda, I am so happy that you have survived and that your spirit is so filled with grace and goodness! Je vous adore et merci beaucoup pour votre histoire! (I’ve been teaching myself French, and I read that you speak it).

  5. David G. Smith says:
    July 21, 2011 at 4:18 am

    That is very insightful, thank you. You make acting look so effortless, which is why those paychecks are as they are, for sure. I recently re-watched “Klute”, and, again, I was blown away. I make, as a “Camera Dude”, very low budget films, and I find it so very frustrating to not be working on projects that are able to afford skilled actors. With the advances in technology, especially digital HD cameras, we are able to make images that can compete with many mainstream films, are able to finagle locations, props and other art department elements that are up to the professional level and have scripts that, sometimes, are not bad, BUT, when it comes down where the real “Rubber meets the road”, that is, in the acting, we usually come up very short. This is not a “Dis” to the folks that we hire as actors, as they are really trying their best. It is just that acting, good film acting, requires a level of skill that is so very, very rare. Then I watch your films, and, am so amazed, and the idea of the actor’s rare skill is reinforced, to almost the nth degree. To think that you have to work through such fear, as noted above, and are still able to perform to the level that you do, …..Well, all I can say is, “WOW”!. Thank you for the great performances.

  6. Diane Walsh says:
    July 25, 2011 at 8:34 pm

    Hi Jane,

    Beautiful piece about performing– it really resonated!

    I was just in Bonn a week ago, where I finally had a chance to get Dr. Ladenburger’s personal tour of the Beethoven archives, as you did last year. It was such a thrilling experience, I just had to write about it, so Dick gave me a guest spot on his blog (about our trip around the world) to do so:

    http://youreonlyoldonce.blogspot.com/

    Hope you enjoy reading it…

    Diane xox

    • Jane says:
      July 26, 2011 at 2:39 pm

      DIANE!!!!! What a treat to ‘hear’ from you. I am so glad you had the ‘Ladenburger’ experience. Isnt it amazing to stand in Beethovan’s birth room, and see the instruments he created? I miss you! Thanks for this. Love, jane

  7. Cheryl Hansen says:
    August 11, 2011 at 8:41 pm

    What a wonderful article!

    As an actress I can totally relate to the fear that can become overwhelming right before you “go out there.” This fear kept me from moving from the theater to any other media. Believe it or not I felt safer on stage performing live every night (no retakes there) and just the idea of having to learn all the techniques and technical terms that go along with film and television was just too intimidating for me.

    Then I too went on hiatus for more than 27 years and have finally gone back to the theater.

    Your article has inspired me so much and I definitely want to read more of your blog and of course your your books.

    I have always admired your work. My favorite film of all time is Julia.

  8. Christopher says:
    August 21, 2011 at 7:41 am

    This is one of the best accounting of the challenges of acting that I’ve ever read. Thank you so much for writing it.

    In the end we train so long and work so hard to learn to act — which is essential for success — but then we also ask (or at least I do) for something more: a guarantee that we’ll be great, perfect, each and every time.

    I don’t know why there’s no guarantee, but I’m starting to accept that there’s not.

    Perhaps the universe is trying to give us something else, teach us something else, something having to do with a greater trust and self-acceptance. When I think about that, then I’m not so scared, and maybe that’s what leads to the real work, what we’re really meant to do out there, on the stage, under the lights.

    I love the heart of Jane’s technique: prayer.

    Denzel Washington gives an amazing recounting of the preparation he did for the whipping scene in Glory (1989). Anyone interested can go to his IMDB bio page to read it. His main technique too was prayer.

    So I resolve to still “train so long and work so hard” but my goal won’t be perfection, won’t be to “become” that pre-defined image of what I think I should be, but instead I’ll work towards trust, and then just step into the light.

  9. anthony says:
    October 5, 2011 at 7:06 am

    Hi Ms. Fonda

    I recently stumbled upon your Actor Studio interview on YouTube and it reminded me how much I enjoyed reading your book a few years back. For personal and professional reasons. A female colleague recommended that I read it being my wife and I just had a daughter. I appreciated your insight and useful information on fathers and daughters relationships and how it will ultimately shape her life. It has helped me so much to be present and encouraging. I’ve been wanting to thank you for that ever since and happy to have found your blog to tell you personally.

    Your book also helped me professionally as well, I am an actor for many years and I’m in my “second act” and had some success. I also teach and often refer to your chapter describing the definition of acting. I’ve read many of books from great teachers and your chapter was so clear, honest and simple. My students all refer to it. I’ve been a huge fan of your work since I’m a teen. I was 15 when “On Golden Pond” was released and remember being so moved watching the work in the film from Kate and your father and especially the “scene” “I want to be friends “with your dad. Still gets me every time. Your emotional life is unprecedented.

    My wife (also an actress) and I saw you on Broadway recently-Bravo! Beautiful work Ms. Fonda. Thanks for the years of inspiration. Much thanks.
    I look forward to your next book.

    -Respectfully

    Anthony

  10. ness13 says:
    January 22, 2012 at 10:21 am

    merci Jane pour ce que vous êtes;j’ai suivi votre parcours depuis le début et depuis 1 an j’ai découvert votre blog et votre générosité ( pr ns faire partager un peu de votre vie en toute simplicité)Cet après midi je suis allée voir votre dernier film français “si on vivait tous ensemble” de Stéphane Robelin superbe comédie,j’ai adoré surtout que je suis une sénior également de 65 ans un sujet grave la vieillesse mais tourné avec beaucoup d’humour,de dérision .Je puis te dire Jane que la salle était bien remplie et qu’il y a eu beaucoup déclats de rire donc pr moi le film démarre bien,je vais inviter toutes mes copines à le voir Bises de France -Ness

  11. Gavin Chalcraft says:
    January 25, 2012 at 11:30 am

    I think Martha Graham put it best in a letter to Agnes DeMille encouraging her to follow her own expression:

    There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening
    that is translated through you into action,
    and because there is only one of you in all time,
    this expression is unique.

    If you block it,
    it will never exist through any other medium
    and be lost.
    The world will not have it.
    It is not your business to determine how good it is;
    nor how valuable it is;
    nor how it compares with other expressions.
    It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly,
    to keep the channel open.

    You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work.
    You have to keep open and aware directly
    of the urges that motivate you.

    Keep the channel open.
    No artist is pleased.
    There is no satisfaction whatever at any time.
    There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction;
    a blessed unrest that keeps us marching
    and makes us more alive than the others.

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Category: Film, Television & Theater

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Film, Television & Theater

  • "At age 50, I broke all the career rules and left acting for 15 years. Ten of those years I was married to Ted Turner and after that I spent 5 years writing my memoirs and traveling the world on behalf of women and girls. Needless to say, returning to my profession late in life has been an interesting, exciting and unusual experience! "Monster-in-Law" was my first film after this hiatus and was one of my most fun professional experiences after "9 to 5"! During my 15 year absence, I gained confidence and, as a result, I feel that my acting is better, more nuanced and relaxed than ever."